Back before Bryan Cranston was a New Mexico drug manufacturer, he was the father of a dysfunctional California family in Malcolm In The Middle. And this is a compilation of 47 movie references featured in the show, played side-by-side with the movie they reference, as compiled by filmmaker Zamir A. Hernandez. A full list with timestamps to take up a lot of space:

00:00 – Fight Club (1999)
00:04 – Risky Business (1983)
00:06 – Psycho (1960)
00:14 – The Shining (1980)
00:16 – Forrest Gump (1994)
00:18 -Say Anything (1989)
00:25 – Pet Sematary (1989)
00:33 – Charriots of Fire (1981)
00:39 – Men In Black (1997)
00:47 -The Matrix (1999)
00:50 – THX (1971)
00:54 – Gremlins (1984)
00:58 – Peanuts tv show (1950 – 2000)
01:00 – Godzilla (1954)
01:06 – Titanic (1997)
01:09 – A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
01:12 – Final Destination (2000)
01:21 – Aliens (1986)
01:24 – Classic Kung fu movies
01:27 – The Karate Kid (1984)
01:30 – The Shining (Book)
01:32 – The Lone Ranger (1949-1957)
01:36 – Rambo First Blood (1982)
01:38 – The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
01:40 – Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
01:41 – Freaks (1932)
01:43 – Star Trek (1966-1969)
01:46 – Halloween H20 (1998)
01:49 – Stuart Little (1999)
01:54 – 007 James Bond Moonraker (1979)
02:00 – Scarface (1983)
02:02 – 007 James Bond Moonraker (1979
02:06 – Monkey Shines (1988)
02:13 – Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
02:20 – The Godfather (1972)
02:24 – Goodfellas (1990)
02:28 – Scarface (1983)
02:24 – Goodfellas (1990)
02:32 – Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
02:43 – Thelma & Louise (1991)
02:50 – Braveheart (1995)
02:55 – Full Metal Jacket (1987)
03:03 – Short Time (1990) Spoof to car chases scenes
03:11 – Psycho (1960)
03:14 – Pearl Harbor (2000)
03:22 – Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
03:34 – Indiana Jones And the Temple of Doom (1984)

There were some real goodies in there. Zamir admits there were probably even more that he missed, but these were the ones he was able to identify on his own. I mean it’s not like he’s seen every movie. Right? You haven’t seen every movie, right? I mean the amount of erotica alone is mindblowing.

Because what could possibly go wrong (or right) with reconnecting with an old flame over a bunch of shots, this is a video of three couples of former high school sweethearts playing truth or drink. It has it all: love, betrayal, disgusting spit cups. The entire thing was very awkward to watch, which brought me great joy. Questions include why did we break up, are we still attracted to each other, what would have happened, and a variety of sexual things which I muted because my mind is as pure as a mountain river just downstream from a Bigfoot turd mining operation.

Created by the zombie apocalypse survival experts at lawncare service provider LawnLove (wait, what?), this is a US map detailing what they believe to be the best and worst cities in the US for surviving a zombie apocalypse. Zombies: they don’t f*** with Texas. Also a lot of the best and worst cities look alarmingly close to each other. Questionable metrics aside, the bigger question is whether you’d even want to survive a zombie apocalypse in the first place. Because based on all the shows and movies I’ve seen it does not look like a good time. Way too much time and energy spent not dying just to eat rats and squirrels.

This is a video of a man who was pulled over in Norfolk, Nebraska, with a Watusi bull named Howdy Doody riding shotgun in a former police-use Crown Victoria, which had been modified to accommodate the beast for Nebraska’s BIG RODEO Parade, where it was awarded best car entry and a ton of actual bullsh!t on the rear door and window. I especially like how the custom license plate is BOY & DOG, like this guy bought the bull from a shifty man in a trench coat who swore it was a Great Dane.

This is a video captured by 13-year old Joseph Faneite-Diglio after a 3-legged bear (affectionately known in the Orlando suburb of Lake Mary as Tripod) broke into his family’s home to raid the mini-fridge on the patio. Man, I wish I had neighbors who left free beer in their patio fridges. Tripod drank 3 White Claws (appropriate because he’s a bear, also: one for each leg) before letting himself out, presumably to go find a pool to pass out in. Honestly, I’m just happy to see somebody is out there living the dream, even if it is a 3-legged bear in Florida.

Thanks to my dad, who agrees sometimes you just have to grin and bear it.

Because who doesn’t love an old fashioned recipe, this is a video of Max Miller of Tasting History brewing and trying switchel, a 19th century (that’s the 1800’s for everyone who failed history class as hard as I did) beverage made with water, apple cider vinegar, molasses and powdered ginger that was popular with farmers. Mmmm, old Gatorade. Not to brag or anything, but I drank a Gatorade left by the previous tenants of a house I moved into that dated all the way back to 1996. It was good. It may have been best by 1996, but it was still totally fine in 2021. Just to be clear, that is not a game I play with cottage cheese. Six weeks past its best-by date and I’m trashing it.