This is some security cam footage of a rolling suitcase attempting to go rogue and break out the front gate of a home when the owner eats it hard giving chase. I was particularly impressed with the suitcase being able to push open the front door — it was determined!

This is a video of wrestler Luigi Primo in action. Luigi is a wrestler and alleged pizza chef who spins a fake (it’s fabric) pizza dough around while wrestling. He’s basically a real-life wrestling version of Pizza Pasta from the original Nintendo Punch-Out!! arcade game. That game is hard. Way

This is a video of a man testing a human-to-cat translation app on Porkchop (Sandwiches! Oh shit, get the f*** outta here!), a kitten he’s catsitting for a friend. I’m not sure if the cat was responding to the actual translation, or just the sound of another cat, but it

This is a video of an enterprising Yankees fan at a recent game against the Mets coring his hot dog with a straw, then using the hot dog as a straw to drink his beer. How about that! Admittedly, hot dogs and beer are a match made in heaven, and

This is a music video for Metallica’s ‘Enter Sandman’ featuring imagery generated by machine-learning AI Midjourney using the lyrics as prompts. The result is almost exactly what I expected. Am I clairvoyant? No, I’ve just had this nightmare before. “Yeah, and it always ends with having to strip the bed

This is a video of a Tesla in full self-driving mode plowing through a mannequin child (complete with reflective vest) in a crosswalk at 24MPH, the car never identifying the object at all. Apparently Tesla has demanded The Dawn Project (who created the video) cease-and-desist, although I’m not sure on

These are several videos from a Chinese pet owner who built some insane accomodations for his animals, including individual air-conditioned rooms, covered bridges for his cats, and an observation deck, complete with a corkscrew slide down to ground level for his dogs. Wow! Whatever you do, don’t go showing this

This is a short video of Porkchop (sandwiches?!) getting a little help from his owner to retract his extra-long tongue. Some more info while I try to touch my nose with my tongue and my girlfriend wonders if I’m trying to be sexual or just have crumbs in my mustache: