I love listening to experts discuss their subjects. They know so much! Me? I know very little about anything. And you know what they say about ignorance. “It’s bliss.” That can’t be right though because I’m miserable. This is a video from Epicurious of professional cheese expert Liz Thorpe reviewing all the cheeses available at Trader Joe’s (previously: a cheese connoisseur tasting 21 of the most expensive cheeses). I learned a lot by watching it. Mostly, that Trader Joe’s is a good place for cheese, which is great news because I love cheese and they’re opening one nearby. My life is about to change forever!

My top seven cheeses of the day in recommended tasting order are Chevre with Fine Herbs, Fromage Pave, Goat’s Milk Gouda-Style, Mini Basque, Unexpected Cheddar, Thousand Day Gouda, and Blue Stilton.

Mmmm, Thousand Day Gouda. I’m more of a Ten Thousand Day Gouda man myself, but that’s just me and I’m EXTRA FANCY. “Your fly is down.” I don’t even have to look to know you’re lying, because there’s no way I’m wearing pants at 9AM on a Wednesday.