Slow down, you're spilling peas everywhere!
Ducks Annihilate A Bowl Of Peas

This is ‘Ducks Annihilate A Bowl Of Peas,’ a piece of performance art starring two ducks ravaging a bowl of watery peas with the same ferocity as I used to attack all-you-can-eat buffets before they were all shut down due to the coronavirus. When managers saw me coming you could actually see the worry swell in their eyes as they mouthed ‘Why is he not wearing a shirt?’ to a horrified busboy.