This is a video (complete with dramatic text overlay) of a tortoise that gets knocked on its back by another tortoise (presumably after casually mentioning his girlfriend has a nice shell), and left to flail there until a tortoise pal comes along to right him. It takes some doing, but eventually he gets back on his feet. Man, getting back on your feet — that sounds nice. I’ve been an upside-down tortoise for so long I couldn’t even tell you which way is up. “It’s bright blue.” Haha, you think there’s sky down here?! It’s just fire in every direction.