Because, just in case you forgot, this is the internet, here’s a weird video of comedian Brian David Gilbert singing a song about “his desire to effortlessly wear hats without looking like he’s trying to be something that he’s not.” Me? I don’t have that problem. I was born wearing a hat, and my first word was fedora. “He was bald until he was two, his first word was hotdog, and he’s never worn a hat because his head is too big.” Mom! “What?” You SAW ME almost squeeze into that 50-gallon hat at the rodeo.

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