Designed by inventor Kazuya Shibata, this is a video demonstration of a face shield that quickly closes above a user’s face in the event they drop their phone while scrolling in bed at night, preventing both the pain and personal embarrassment associated with such a drop. Alternatively, doomscroll on your side before bed. Personally, I never sleep on my back, you know why? “They’ll be plenty of time for that when you’re dead.” What? No, I want to be cremated and the ashes made into fireworks. Snoring — the answer was snoring. Plus acid reflux. I’d melt the beard I’m trying to grow.

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