Because cats say the darndest things (and poop under the bed), this is a video of a southern gentleman cat greeting its owner from around the corner of the fridge with a “Well hi!” before proceeding to lick itself. You know, it’s nice to see the cat in such high spirits considering it’s clearly on house arrest and has to wear an ankle monitor around its neck after getting arrested driving high as shit on catnip.

Keep going for the original video, as well as one with western soundtrack and cowboy hat added like it deserves.

Thanks to JustA, who agrees it would be awesome if our dogs could talk, although they’d probably just yell TREATS TREATS OUTSIDE TREATS POOP TREATS OUTSIDE TREATS POOP like I imagine they’re barking now.