This is the very real and very available on Amazon FartVac, a $12 hose and bulb vacuum with an activated carbon filter at the end designed to suck up farts from your pants before filtering the smell out of them and releasing them back into the wild. Now I know

Are you the kind of person who decorates EVERY room of your house for the holidays? Well you’re in luck, because now there’s this Christmas Tree Toilet Plunger to sit next to the toilet in your guest bathroom, bringing Christmas cheer to everyone while they pee on the seat. Actually

Because who doesn’t want the salty, vinegar-y taste of a pickle on their lips at all times, this is Mr. Pickle’s World Famous Pickle Lip Balm ($12 on Amazon). Questionable world fame aside, the $12 lip balm seems to be promoted as a gag gift, which makes sense since(!) I

This is the $23 Office Possum available from Archie McPhee. It’s a stuffed 15-inch latex possum with bendable paws and tail for hanging around the office to startle coworkers. Now I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it is not for butts. OR IS IT? Seriously it’s not.