"Wait till you smell this one!"
The FartVac, A Pump Vacuum w/ Activated Carbon For Filtering Flatulence

This is the very real and very available on Amazon FartVac, a $12 hose and bulb vacuum with an activated carbon filter at the end designed to suck up farts from your pants before filtering the smell out of them and releasing them back into the wild. Now I know what you’re thinking, but no, you’re not supposed to put the tube IN your anus (woops!), just in your underwear NEAR it. Per the instructions:

Carefully route the inlet tube into your clothing near, but NOT inside your anus (upper butt cheek/crack area is ideal). DO NOT insert the tubing into your anus or any other part of your body. Conduct a few test pumps of the bulb to ensure FartVac is sucking air from inside your clothing and filtering it via the activated carbon filter.

Fart loudly and proudly. Pump the bulb of the FartVac with your hand. It will suck up your smelly fumes, and the activated carbon filter on the outlet will filter and reduce the smell. No more suffering due to holding in something completely natural.

There are also instructions for weaponizing your FartVac by removing the activated carbon filter and pointing the exit hose at an unsuspecting enemy. Is that what’s happening in the photo above? Does she know where the other end of that hose is? Dude looks awfully smitten. Also, he’s wearing a wedding ring but she isn’t. Did he find her cheating? I have so many questions. But mostly just WTF?