Because who doesn’t want the salty, vinegar-y taste of a pickle on their lips at all times, this is Mr. Pickle’s World Famous Pickle Lip Balm ($12 on Amazon). Questionable world fame aside, the $12 lip balm seems to be promoted as a gag gift, which makes sense since(!) I can’t imagine anybody using it more than once besides my girlfriend, who saw this over my shoulder and insisted I buy her a four pack so she can keep one upstairs, one downstairs, one in her bag, and leave one at work. She’s, uh, she’s a legit pickle fiend. When we go grocery shopping we have to go to two different grocery stores, a specialty foods shop AND the farmer’s market just to get all the different kinds and brands of pickles she needs for the week. If she kisses me and I don’t taste pickle I accuse her of being a doppelgänger. She always thinks it’s funny and tries to laugh it off but I do make her stand in front of the mirror to prove she has a reflection.

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