2022 — what a year, am I right? It was certainly a lot of days. Most of which I probably should have just stayed in bed. 2023 — totally going to be my year though, I can feel it. Feels like an upset stomach. This is a compilation of news

Because the best-laid plans of mice and men never accounted for automatic garage doors, this is some home security cam footage of a garage door devouring a Christmas wreath, stripping its ornaments like a wreath-eating Grinch. You’d think the homeowners might have considered this possibility before hanging the wreath. I

This is a video of somebody who pimped out (poor word choice) their Nissan Sentra with all the extra car badges they could find, creating some sort of unholy conglomerate. That’s one hell of an upgrade package they’ve got there. It’s like that Johnny Cash song ‘One Piece At A

This is a video of a man trying to impress the camerawoman (possibly his mother) with his hanging skills by transitioning from a pull-up bar to a hangboard he has mounted above the doorway, and tearing the board off the wall and eating backwards shit in the process. Gee, who

This is a video of a precious red panda at a zoo coming outside from its sleep enclosure and being threatened by a rock. Quickly taking the offensive, it slaps the rock a few times and makes itself as large as it can by standing on its back legs and

This is the ‘Magdeburg Unicorn’, a fossil reconstruction assembled a few years after the bones of a woolly rhinoceros were discovered in Germany in 1663. Allegedly the reconstruction was performed by Prussian scientist Otto von Geuricke, who, I think we can all agree, did a stellar job. I wish I

In how to ruin a date news, this is some footage from an escape room in Germany where a guy sacrifices his girlfriend to a ghoul in order to save himself. How noble of him. He does realize escape rooms don’t hire real ghouls, right? Like that was just a

This is a video of Emmanuel the unruly emu consistently ruining his caretaker’s attempts to make education videos about the animals at Knuckle Bump Farms in South Florida (which I really feel should not be capitalized). Oh, Emmanuel. You know, he reminds me a lot of myself when my girlfriend