Because Mother Nature is totally nuts (she tried showing her b00bs once but I declined BECAUSE I WAS AT DINNER WITH MY PARENTS), this is a video featuring the sound of 500,000 king penguins doing their thing on South Georgia Island, northeast of the Antarctic Peninsula. The sound was captured by wildlife artist Robert E. Fuller during a visit to the world’s largest colony of king penguins, with about a fifth of all living king penguins represented here. They sound great. Sure, I could pinpoint a couple jerks in the bunch, but infinitesimally fewer than if you got the same number of humans together. You get that many people together and at least 85% are going to be complete turds. If it weren’t for the cold I’d wish I was a penguin.