This is a reimagining of The Sopranos opener in the style of the one for Full House. I’d be lying if I said I liked it, there’s just something about anything Full House related that bums me out. And, just like any of the issues my therapist is always bringing up, I’m not sure why that is, and I don’t feel like spending the time to find out.

This is a video of rollerblader AIR DAMON performing a high speed basketball dunk off a ramp for some insanely high flying, ball slamming action. That was nuts. Also, they should totally start a rollerblading basketball league. Or maybe one already exists, I don’t know, I have bad ankles. I have bad almost everything if I’m being complete honest. Not breath though, I eat mints like candy.

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A post shared by A I R • D A M O N (@airdamonf)

I’m pretty sure I posted this on Geekologie many moons ago, but it’s resurfaced like a mermaid trying to lure me into the water and my death by its hungry shark friends, so I’m tempting fate and posting it again. It’s a video of a red octopus battling a swimmer crab when a surprise challenger enters the arena and eats the octopus. It’s a seal — a seal comes along and eats the octopus. I wonder if the seal and crab are friends, or if the crab was dessert. Join me tonight and every night at 3AM, when these questions and more take the spotlight as I fail to fall asleep and get the rest I so desperately need.

This is a video of Winston the mini-cow persistently trying to win over the affections of Trigger, a horse that lives with him at the Delmar Farm horse rescue in Florida, but appears to want no part of Winston’s love. Per caretaker Claudia on their relationship (or lack thereof):

It was this dynamic between the two of them that I’ve never seen with any of my other horses where they were both so persistent. …You would think Winston would understand their body language by now but he’s very determined. However there’s a few horses here that have just fallen in love with him.

Persistence pays off, Winston — remember that. Well maybe in your case it will, but in mine it never has. In my case it’s only paid off in wasted time and regret. Now I’m more of a “Halfheartedly try once and abandon ship if it doesn’t happen” kind of guy.

This is a clip of Italian beatboxing champion Azel demonstrating his skills with some otherworldly sounds coming out of his mouth. Wow, I can hear why he’s a champion. Still, not to toot my own horn in an article that’s supposed to be about someone else, but I’m just as good at blowing raspberries as most babies. “And crying when he pees his pants.” Honey! Not in front of my friends!

Video below, things really get wild after the 1:00 mark.

Our sun: in the grand scheme of stars in the universe, there’s really nothing that special about it. It’s only special to us and our life here on earth. It’s just an average yellow dwarf, the sort of sun that would float under everyone’s radar in high school. And this is a visualization comparing its relative unspectacularness to Stephenson 2-18, the largest known star, a red hypergiant that’s 2,143 times wider. Now that — that’s a star. It was probably captain of the football team AND homecoming king. Me? I was a dwarf planet and used to hacky sack at lunch with a ragtag gang of other Plutos. Look at us now though! “Never amounted to anything.” Not a single thing, even combined.