This is a video of the folks behind Youtube channel Weird History Food taking a tour of all the different regional pizza styles they could find across the United States. Pizzas like New York, Buffalo, Detroit-style, deep dish, St. Louis-style, Ohio Valley pizza, Dayton style, Colorado Mountain Pies, Quad City-style, red strips, and Altoona style, and MORE. I think I speak for everyone here when I say now I want some pizza. Sadly, I can’t remember the last time I had pizza, although, FULL DISCLOSURE: I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast this morning. “It was pizza.” Thanks, honey! Mystery solved, I still want pizza for lunch and dinner though.

This is the ‘Magdeburg Unicorn’, a fossil reconstruction assembled a few years after the bones of a woolly rhinoceros were discovered in Germany in 1663. Allegedly the reconstruction was performed by Prussian scientist Otto von Geuricke, who, I think we can all agree, did a stellar job. I wish I was a scientist back in the 1600’s — those were the real wild-west days of science, back when anything goes and it didn’t take any credentials to call yourself a scientist besides a strong belief in magic.

Keep going for several more shots including what a wooly rhinoceros actually probably looked like.

Well, just the heads of the characters anyways. These are trailers for Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul using footage from the two series with the characters heads relatively poorly decently Pixarated. That’s like pixelated except made more Pixar character-like. I just invented that terminology, unless somebody else already came up with it in which case they went back in time after stealing it from me. Manure! I HATE manure!

Because where better to look for fresh beats than beyond our own corner of the galaxy, NASA has released ‘Black Hole Remix’, audio from a distant galaxy cluster. Or possibly just the sound of a billion UFOs chugging along in the space in-between. Either way, it beats whatever I just heard on the radio, which was nothing but static. Somebody stole my antenna!

The misconception that there is no sound in space originates because most space is a ~vacuum, providing no way for sound waves to travel. A galaxy cluster has so much gas that we’ve picked up actual sound. Here it’s amplified, and mixed with other data, to hear a black hole!

“And mixed with other data” — just what data exactly? Because everything is data. I want to know what was added, then I want to hear the UNADULTERATED version. Then after that I want to hear the uncensored version with all the cuss words still in it, because I can almost guarantee those galaxies called us a little bitch.

The misconception that there is no sound in space originates because most space is a ~vacuum, providing no way for sound waves to travel. A galaxy cluster has so much gas that we've picked up actual sound. Here it's amplified, and mixed with other data, to hear a black hole! pic.twitter.com/RobcZs7F9e

— NASA Exoplanets (@NASAExoplanets) August 21, 2022

Because the internet is a strange and magical place, this is a video of skilled pole dancer Suzy (aka eroticpoleninja) performing in a variety of different inflatable costumes, including a t-rex, unicorn, and SpongeBob and Patrick Star. Now I know what you’re thinking, and “Hummina hummina” is 100% correct.

Thanks to my buddy ClosetNerd, who clearly recognizes quality content when he sees it.

This is a video report from a news agency (BBC) that attacks the hard-hitting stories just like I do, reporting about a baby seal that broke into the home of a New Zealand marine biologist (“Study me!” I imagine the seal thinking) via a cat door, raising heck (even harassing resident cat Coco until it retreated to a neighbor’s home) and hanging out on the sofa until it was politely escorted out. As far as news goes, this is the only sort of story I really care to watch or read about, everything else is just depressing. They say ignorance is bliss, and I aim to live in ecstasy as a moron.