Because cutting down trees is something every idiot with a chainsaw thinks they’re capable of without incident, this is a video of a threesome in the woods felling a tree when it shifts to the side and takes one man on an unexpected seesaw ride. For a second I thought he was about to stick the landing on top of it, but clearly this man is no acrobat. Or lumberjack. I’m not sure what these guys’ day jobs are, but they definitely shouldn’t quit them.

Thanks again to my dad, who agrees some things are best left to the professionals.

This is a 3D animation imagining a manufacturing plant where different logos are made. It’s pretty neat. Of course this isn’t how logos are actually made, logos are actually made by graphic designers strung out on coffee in Photoshop the day of their deadline. Or at least in my experience that’s how they’ve always been made. *eyes Born In Space logo* We should really change that.

Thanks to my dad, who agrees it’s hard to beat the classic Coca-Cola logo.

This is a video of married dancing duo Cost N’ Mayor (aka Austin and Marideth Telenko) performing short dance interpretations of over 40 different iPhone text message notifications. Now when I first heard the title I did not expect much (FULL DISCLOSURE: I never expect much because I’m a jaded turd), but it’s surprisingly clever. They’re very skilled. So, if you were ever looking to hire someone to interpret sounds into dance, I would definitely recommend hiring Cost N’ Mayor. Or me, but no matter what the sound every dance will be the robot, just to be upfront about it.

@cost_n_mayor Reply to @krustykrustykrab ♬ original sound – Cost n’ Mayor

This is a video of Aries the rescue cat, who, due to malformed joints in his back legs, appears to walk like a spider. I don’t know about you, but that’s one spider I’d gladly welcome into my home.

Aries appears to be completely aware of his disability. In fact, he is far more adventurous than many other house cats. He loves to go outside. He doesn’t mind being put in a carrier and/or harness because it means that he can run on the beach, go to the park or even go for a boat ride. He’s also very happy to stay at home where he can eat all the shrimp he wants.

Happy endings — it certainly sounds like Aries is living the life now. Me? I really don’t want to go into it, and not just because it would be depressing to compare my own life to a disabled cat’s and still draw the short straw, but I just made a spreadsheet and I’m losing in every category except ‘Doesn’t like like a spider.’

This is a video of a couple firework sorting machines doing their thing. Their thing being sorting fireworks, in case you couldn’t tell from the obvious context clues. Being a detective isn’t for everyone, you know. Just look at all those firecrackers! It’s pretty crazy to think of just how many of those are going to wind up in dude’s butts on a dare.

Because toddlers will be toddler no matter what the species, this is a video of a mama bear attempting to herd her four cubs (a rarity) across the street in Winsted, Connecticut. No sooner does she get one across the street that another heads back across the road. Kids, am I right? I bet this mama bear wishes she had leashes for all those cubs like the woman I saw at the mall over the weekend with her three kids. Although that certainly didn’t look like a good time either.

Thanks to my dad, who would almost certainly agree I was one of those unruly cubs growing up. I’m kidding, I was a golden child. Kidding again, that was my brother.