The bald eagle: AMERICA’S BIRD. And to celebrate the avian symbol of freedom, this is a video of some anglers tossing a caught fish in the air, and a bald eagle effortlessly catching it in its talons. Impressive. For reference, I can’t even catch the appetizer shrimp a chef tosses at a hibachi dinner. Shameful, I know — I have terrible mouth-eye coordination. Honestly, it’s amazing I haven’t starved to death yet. Thankfully my girlfriend is willing to airplane-to-the-hanger feed me all my meals.

Keep going for the video, as well as a slow-motion version.

@ace_cdl_school #fyp #america #baldeagle #fishing #cdlschool #cdlschooltexas #truckinglife #alaska #bluecollar ♬ Dreams (2004 Remaster) – Fleetwood Mac

@ace_cdl_school Reply to @ace_cdl_school y’all ask, y’all receive 😁 #fyp #foryou #eagle #baldeagle #cdlschool #cdlschooltexas #fishing #bluecollar #alaska ♬ Star Spangled Banner – Madison Rising

TikTok video HERE in case your browser wants to be disagreeable.

Thanks to JustA, my plane spoon pilot.

Presumably training for breakdancing’s Olympic debut in the 2024 summer Olympics, this is a short highlight reel from a breakdancer, featuring some moves that can only be described as 50% dance, 50% contortionist act, and 110% making my whole body ache. I mean some of those moves were WILD. For reference, my back cracked getting out of bed this morning and I’m still here on the floor at 4PM begging my girlfriend to bring me breakfast or a cup of poison.

In go go gadget ROFLcopter news, this is a video of Ascend Dynamics testing its SkyPak V1 electric powered ‘jetpack’. Now I know what you’re thinking, and I agree, the wood support makes it look that much cooler — like you’re a flying human mailbox. The non-jetpack is actually powered by twelve brushless DC motors, spinning “six pairs of counter-rotating propellers” close enough to chop your arms off. Unimpressively, a full battery charge only provides about two minutes of flight time, or just long enough to get up to cruising altitude before crashing back down to earth Wile E. Coyote style. Obviously, for this reason and many more I’m afraid I’ll have to pass on mentioning the SkyPak V1 the next time I write home.

This is a video of Midnight providing a clear example of what happens when you’re last in line when God is handing out the typically standard-issue nimble cat package. I like how he knocks over all the pictures, then goes back and knocks over more. That’s dedication. I wonder how many times a day Midnight’s owners have to pick up and right all those frames. My guess is a whole bunch. Which, FUN FACT: is the same guess that got me fired from the ‘Guess Your Weight’ booth at the carnival.

Keep going for the video. Also, to Midnight’s credit, he’s 18, which is like 600 in human years. If I was 600 not only would I be knocking over all those pictures, but pooping on the wall too.

This is some security cam footage of some dirtbag attempting to rob a man’s Chevy Silverado in the Metairie neighborhood of New Orleans when they’re unpleasantly surprised by a flashbang the owner rigged to go off in the event somebody does breaks in. Apparently the man has had his truck robbed repeatedly in the past, and was fed up. Of course unlike myself, local law enforcement doesn’t condone this flavor of vigilante justice:

“While we understand the frustrations our citizens have with crime, rigging an explosive device to detonate inside a vehicle is illegal and a bad idea.

“Not only is there a risk of injury to yourself and others, there could be serious legal ramifications for everyone involved.

“Please call your District station or Crimestoppers to report illegal activity.”

I get it, authorities don’t want injuring any thieves, but calling the police to report illegal activity? Like that’ll really get you somewhere. You might as well flash the Bat-Signal hoping Batman jumps out of the pages of a comic book to come help.

This is a video of Youtuber Homemade Modern detailing the process in which he made an epoxy table filled with pieces of broken glass bottles. That’s neat. The result wasn’t as clear as I would have liked though, so he can expect a moderate to low-star Etsy review. Want to make a broken glass table yourself? Just do what I did and bodyslam your roommate through your existing coffee table. Sure it’s awful at holding coffee and remote controls now, but it’s certainly a conversation piece. A conversation that usually begins with, “Jesus, what happened?!” and ends with me insisting he deserved it.