This is ‘Three Ways Of Melting A Chocolate Bunny’, a short art film by Lernert & Sander featuring three hollow chocolate bunnies being melted. The first goes up against a clothes iron, the second a heat lamp, and the last a blow dryer. Now I’m not suggesting Lenert & Sander be put on some sort of government watch list due to this video, but I wouldn’t be the first volunteer to look through the freezer in their garage either.

This is a video of Tom Hanks throwing out the ceremonial first pitch at the 2022 Cleveland Guardians home opener and bringing his pal Wilson along (presumably after the ball won a game of rock-paper-scissors against a box of chocolates and a giant piano you play with your feet). I thought he was actually going to throw Wilson, but he doesn’t, he just sets him down to watch. Me? I would have drop-kicked that dude into the stands, then torn my shirt off and poured two $18 beers down my chest, but that’s just me, and probably why they went with Tom instead. We’re always competing for roles.

This is a short video captured by stormchaser C. Riske (great name for a stormchaser) in Iowa of a Toyota Prius getting struck by lightning. Stormchasing, that’s a hell of a hobby, although I supposed what else are you going to do in Iowa — chase potatoes? “You’re thinking of Idaho.” No, I’m thinking about bikini babes, I’m typing about states that start with the letter ‘I’ that I couldn’t locate on a map, even if it did mean me losing the bonus round of Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? “Haha!” What are you laughing at, Indiana?

VIDEO WARNING: MOTION SICKNESS.

Thanks to a PC mod created by modder Skyth, this is a video of Sonic Generations being played with a dizzying first-person perspective by Youtuber Blue Vivacity. I’ll be honest — if I didn’t already puke this morning I’d definitely be puking now, but apparently nine is my body’s disappointing limit on Cadbury Creme Eggs for breakfast.

Keep going for the video, and if you can watch more than 30 seconds of it you should probably be a fighter pilot.

This is a video of Italian athlete and World Memory champion Andrea Muzii demonstrating his abilities by solving a Rubik’s Cube while performing a one-arm handstand. Of course his legs are supported by the wall, so I vote for a disqualification. I’ve also included a video of Andrea completing a Rubik’s Cube while performing one-handed pushups, one-handed behind-the-back juggling and reciting pi, and riding a bike and juggling. Talk about multi-talented! For reference, I can’t even solve one normally while sitting in front of my laptop shirtless with a website open explaining step-by-step how to do it *scratching dried mustard out of belly hair* so there’s that.

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A post shared by Andrea Muzii | Memory Athlete (@andreamuzii.wmc)

This is a video of Princess trying hard and believing in herself enough to make a leap of faith from the television mantle to the ceiling fan. What a glorious feeling of accomplishment that must have been. I wish I knew that feeling. All I know is agony and defeat. *shrugs* It’s been a hard life. HE’S DICTATING THIS TO ME WHILE HE GETS A MANI-PEDI. Hey you, I saw that caps lock action — no funny business!