This is some rare footage of a small (bell diameter ~1.1-inches) psychedelic jelly (Crossota millsae) spotted by one of the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute’s robotic deep sea rovers in the midnight zone, the absolutely pitch black area of the sea from a depth of around 3,500-feet downward. Just look at that spaghetti metroid — and some people still don’t believe aliens exist. What more proof do you need besides this video and the stories I drunkenly tell at bars? *slams beer on table for dramatic effect* Then they took me to their leader! *gasps from the crowd* And we made love until the double sunrise.

This is a video of a girl who met up with some friends in her high school parking lot for a little socially distanced get-together, and is leaving to leave with her soda on top of her car. That’s when another friend sees an opportunity, starts recording, and warns her about the soda, at which point she hits the brakes and the soda goes from being on top of the car to inside the car. That is unfortunate. I mean unless she’s the kind of person that likes licking soda from a vehicle’s interior, and, at least based on all my unanswered posts online, there aren’t many of us.

Thanks again to JustA, who, for three tips in a day, not only receives a gold star sticker, but fish Florentine made by yours truly for dinner.

This is a visualization video from Youtube channel Real Data comparing the heights of the world’s tallest statues. I learned a lot by watching it. Mostly, that my penis dwarfs all of these and I should only make love to constellations. Granted I was already pretty sure before, but now I’m positive. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready for my date with Andromeda. Or was it Cassiopeia? Whatever, my point is make sure to look up tonight.

This is a mashup video created by Youtuber Jonkari P of Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May of Britain’s Top Gear attempting to trebuchet a giant in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Things do not go according to plan. Man, I collected SO MANY giant’s toes in Skyrim. I had a whole room of my house in Whiterun filled with them. And another with mammoth cheese. There’s no doubt my Angorian lizard-lady wife appreciated my efforts, and the smell. Anyway, if you love both Top Gear and Skyrim you’ll probably love this video. If you like one but not the other you’ll at least appreciate it. But if you don’t like or are unfamiliar with both, it’s probably not even worth the effort of pushing the play button.

This is a video of Red Bull extreme athletes Fred Fugen, Vincent Cotte, and Mike Swanson performing wingsuit fly-bys of the Pyramid of Khafre in Giza. Stunning. You know, I hope I have the opportunity to visit the great pyramids one day. And I also hope I’m the first to figure out how to activate one and fly it off into outerspace. “Later, losers!” I’ll skywrite real big in hieroglyphics before leaving earth’s atmosphere.

In I don’t ever want to get old news, these are two videos of grandmas attempting to use the smartphone picture on the signs in front of the Mobile Order Curbside Pickup parking spots at McDonald’s to contact the restaurant. These, uh, these have to be fake, right? Is this some sort of new TikTok challenge — humiliating your grandma? I mean if these women were able to order McDonald’s with their smartphones in the first place, surely they’re technological fit enough to know to use it to notify the restaurant when they’re there too. Right? Just please say yes, I love sweet old grandmas. Unfortunately, when reached for comment about the incidents, one of these grandmas asked why I never visit, and the other if her prescription was ready for pickup.

@jshort1423 #foryoupage #trending #fyp #viraltiktok #viralpost #viral #mcdanks #technology ♬ original sound – Josh short

@jshort1423 #aw #viral #yerawizard #foryoupage #followme #follow #followme #fyp #bruh #foryou #notagain ♬ original sound – Josh short

Thanks again to JustA, who agrees Wendy’s would never do this to you.