Note: Volume on.

This is a video of a woman sipping on some drinkable yogurt when she spots her friend filming her, and proceeds to laugh and spit up like a 240-month old. I like the last bit of spit up at the end. You think she’s finished, but nope, there’s more. This is why I love the internet. This is also why I hate the internet. But mostly why I love it.

@specere

Can’t stop laughing (via @unknown)

♬ original sound – Specere

Thanks again to JustA, who knows just how much I like drinkable yogurt.

This is a video of a dam gate being opened after years of remaining closed. The amount of mud and silt that gets pushed through before the water really starts flowing — my goodness! Reminds me of all the extruding I used to do with my Play-Doh Fun Factory as a kid. I extruded SO MUCH Play-Doh. And, if I’m being perfectly honest, my fair share of cat turds too. There’s always toys in the litter box — that was my motto.

Thanks to JustA, who agrees sometimes you just need to open the floodgates and let it all out.

In happy endings news, tabby cat Montequlla was joyfully reunited with his family after she was unknowingly donated to an ARC Thrift Store in Boulder, Colorado inside a recliner. Thankfully, after realizing the cat was missing, her owners contacted the thrift store, who had already found the cat in the recliner and contacted Denver Animal Protection, a city-run no-kill shelter. The thrift store then put her owners in contact with the shelter, and a reunion was arranged. See? Happy endings. Also, I really hope you didn’t have the nerve to ask for a tax receipt when you donated that recliner. That thing looks like an alien’s privates. Is it still available?

Keep going for a shot of the loving reunion, as well as a brief video of the cat in the recliner.

This is a video from Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) planetary astronomer Dr. James O’Donoghue (previously), detailing how far you’d be able to throw a ball on other planets compared to on earth. I learned a lot by watching it. Mostly, that I’m not convinced I could even throw a ball regular earth distance on Mars. I have a bad shoulder. Besides, I don’t care how far I can throw a ball on other planets, I only care how far I can KICK ASS. Know what I mean? “No clue.” Let’s go fight some aliens! “But what if they’re friendly?” Then it’ll be easy and we’ll feel terrible afterwards.

This is a short video from the Flamingo Casino in Las Vegas of a bartender making a cocktail shaker levitate while he pours tequila. How does he do it? Magic. Or maybe a magnet attached to the stainless steel shaker with a length of fishing line connecting it to the bottle that the booze is pouring down and around. Still, magic show or not, that party does not look like a good time. Maybe that’s just the part of me that hates groups of people screaming and likes to be in bed with my sleep mask on by 8PM talking, but no thank you. Now if you’ll excuse me *removes teeth, looks around confused* dammit, did I drink my denture bath again?

This is some helmetcam footage of skier Christian Høgfeldt performing an Olympic style ski jump with no snow on the ground. I’m pretty sure this is how ski jumpers practice in the off season though, so I suppose it’s not particularly crazy to see. Still, staring down that hill from the top is terrifying, snow or no snow. People are nuts. Is there a virtual reality version of this that exists so people can experience it without actually risking death? Because it should be banned too. Stop giving people these ideas.