Because the internet never sleeps (giving it extra time to relieve itself), this is a video of Youtuber Moonic Productions reimagining Gwen Stefani’s ‘Hollaback Girl’ as a System Of The Down song. It was just about exactly what I expected. Do I wish I could get that two minutes of my life back? I’d say yes, but I know I just would have squandered it watching some other video, so I run the risk of wishing I had THAT two minutes of my life back even more. So I guess I’m fine where I’m at. What can I say, I’m a glass half full kind of guy. Half full of poison, just to be clear.

The employees of the Museum of Osteology (the largest skeleton museum in the world) in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma decided to adopt an office cat, and chose a black kitty from the nearby Moore Animal Shelter. Named Sir Indiana Bones (great choice), Indy quickly took to the skeleton museum, and now practically runs the place. And I can’t say I’m surprised, I’d imagine a black cat named Sir Indiana Bones couldn’t be any more in its element than at a skeleton museum.

This is a video from La Jolla in San Diego of two sea lions charging at waaaaay too tourists for such a tiny beach, all of whom have clearly overstayed their welcome. They don’t call them lions for nothing! The city is considering closing this beach as a result of increased interactions with the protected species, including some bites. I’d hate to be patient zero for whatever comes of that. Personally, I’m all for the closure. People just don’t know how to behave at the beach. Or anywhere else. People — people are the problem, that’s what I’m saying.

Thanks to my dad, who agrees other people are usually the worst part of any experience.

Because there’s nothing quite like the thrill of 4 wheeling in a strip mall parking lot after dark, this is a video of a duo atop an ATV attempting a wheelie, but getting more than they bargained for. That bargain appearing to be some dual head-in-lap action. Yow yow! These guys went from 4 wheeling to 69 wheeling real quick. You know back in the day you’d have to get married before performing stunts like these.

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Thanks to JustA, who encourages you all to be careful out there, the last thing you want is to have to explain a 69 wheeling accident to your doctor.

This is a video of wildlife lover and conservationist Chandler of Chandler’s Wild Life discussing king cobra Justina while she’s about shed, and about how particularly dangerous snakes are when they’re about to shed because they’re partially blind due to the layer of cloudy skin covering their eyeball, and extra aggressive as a result. Chandler has to dodge Justina’s venomous bite twice! AND gets pooped on. The ol’ triple whammy as we like to call it in the snake handling world. “Pfft, what snakes do you handle?” Just my own python at public urinals. *mimes making 3-point jumper*

This is a short promo for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem movie featuring everyone’s favorite turtle liking zombie boy, Jonathan. He’s a lot older now, but he still likes turtles. And face painting. Some things never change, and I do find a little comfort in that.