This is a video captured by an unmanned submersible operated by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) Ocean Exploration team featuring a whiplash squid swimming in ‘marine snow’ at a depth of around 1,100 meters (3,609-feet, about 7/10ths of a mile). It’s not actually snow though, it’s delicious, nutritious

This is a video of Simba, a goat born in Pakistan with 48cm (~19″) ears, making it the new world record holder for longest eared goat. Wow, and to think I make fun of my girlfriend’s earlobes! “You know you’re lucky I don’t make fun of your penis.” Honey —

This is a video of Crocodile Hunter Jr. Robert Irwin working with a bush-stone curlew named Emily to help curtail her very conspicuous anger management issues. Now I’ve dated several Emilys in the past, and to Robert I say GOOD LUCK. And if she’s a Libra just f*cking forget about

Because Mother Nature is a real firecracker, this is a video of a sea turtle thwarting a tiger shark’s efforts to make it into a meal by constantly turning and barrel rolling to make sure whenever the tiger shark attacks it’s presented with the full length of its unbiteable shell.

Because when it rains it pours turtles (I’d recommend a much stronger umbrella), this is a video of a turtle who somehow managed to get flipped over on its back in a pond (we all have that friend), and the others come to right it before it can embarrasses itself

This is a video of a couple bush league David Attenboroughs providing live commentary for a group of turtles attempting to stay atop a log and catch some rays after another turtle (they call him Gary but we’ll call him Michelangelo) climbs on the log and starts it rotating in

This is some footage of a young deer playing in a sprinkler with some kids, all taking turns running through the water. How about that! Deer, am I right? “What honey?” Not you, dear, DEER DEER. “You have to stop drinking before noon.” God named it Winesday for a reason!

Seen here practicing his moves against the Foot Clan, a pet tortoise engages in a ramming battle with a piece of black tape stuck to its owner’s shoe. And, the moment the tape is removed, the tortoise instantly returns to friendly mode. Crazy. You think that tape reminds him of