Seen here practicing his moves against the Foot Clan, a pet tortoise engages in a ramming battle with a piece of black tape stuck to its owner’s shoe. And, the moment the tape is removed, the tortoise instantly returns to friendly mode. Crazy. You think that tape reminds him of the hare? We need a turtle expert to chime in. Dammit, where’s Zombie Jonathan when you need him?

Thanks to my dad, who agrees you should keep your friends close, but your duct tape even closer.