You owe me a new club!
Fore!: Giant Coconut Crab Snaps Golfer’s Club In Half

This is a video from Australia’s Christmas Island, where a golfer had a giant coconut crab (aka robber crab) hanging onto his bag before it selects few clubs to steal, then proceeds to pinch a driver in half while the clubs’ owner attempts to take them back. I’d call that a bogie. Now I’m not sure what the takeaway is here, but my guess is it either involves a pocketful of melted butter or using a rented golf cart to jump a sand trap.