Because there’s a record for absolutely everything (presumably so everyone can hold one and feel they’re the best at something, possibly because nobody else thought to try), this is a video (which, with some added power chords, could double as a death metal music video) of Andrew Stanton setting a world record for the most weight pulled with the eye sockets. For the feat, Andrew manages to tug a vintage Cadillac weighing 5,319 pounds across the stage of Lo Show Dei Record in Milan, Italy. What was the old record? I’m really hoping zero pounds, because I’d hate to think this is something that more than one person in the world is into. Same goes for pulling anything with your privates. I could easily do a 747 though. Fast enough to take off, too.

Note: In the second half of the video, Andrew also sets the record for most weight lifted with eye sockets (130 pounds) while swallowing a sword. Dude can probably see through walls with eye sockets that strong!