This is the Consumer Products Safety Commission’s 2020 Fireworks Safety reminder, featuring a bunch of mannequins getting injured while making incredibly poor choices with fireworks. It serves as a powerful reminder to not set off a mortar while holding it on top of your head like a deadly dunce cap, or to place your face directly over a live mortar like Luke Skywalker staring down the blade emitter of his lightsaber. Of course these are just mannequins so it’s not like your head is actually going to get blown OFF, you’re just going to be horribly disfigured for the rest of your life. Oh *lifting shirt* the stories these scars could tell. A few about incredible acts of heroism I made up, more about fireworks, but most about falling out of my bunk bed because I feel like I’m too old for a safety railing.

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