This is a video from Darren Dyk of Youtube channel Beyond Slow Motion featuring a bunch of skilled fingerboarders (including himself) performing tricks, filmed at 1000FPS for some ultra slow motion goodness. And what goodness it was! Except for the song he chose for the soundtrack, I’m pretty sure that just gave me an irregular heartbeat.

In wayback news (my favorite kind, all new news is bad news), this is a video from the Australian Public Broadcast service on August 31st, 1962 asking Sydney residents if they think there’s life on other planets. The answers range from “no” to one guy having seen a UFO. Most believe there is though. And that’s a good thing, because there totally is. I know, because I was born in space, so I’m living proof. “I’m not sure I’d call what you do living.” I’m wasting proof.

Because it’s Friday (or whatever day you’re reading this), and who doesn’t wish they were on vacation (unless you’re reading this on your phone from a hammock in the Caribbean, in which case I wish I was there with you), this is a 4K POV ride on the newly opened TRON Lightcycle / Run attraction at Disney World. It looks like a good time. Of course everything starts to look like a good time when you’re stuck staring at a computer screen 14 hours a day. I TRIED RUNNING. Terrible idea, regret it deeply.

Keep going for the video, which unfortunately does include some dude yammering the whole time.

This is some security cam footage of a woman who was trying to help a locked-out neighbor regain access to her apartment via the balcony when she discovered that door was also locked (A+ for security) and would have to climb back down to the ground. She wasn’t expecting this, nor had she planned for it, and ends up standing on top of a fence that clearly wasn’t made for standing, refusing a step ladder, and jumping off in the absolute worst way possible, perfectly crotching herself on the fence. That roll-away she performed afterward was top-notch though.

Dude: *offering his back to climb down onto* Slowly come down.
Chick: Dude I can’t f***ing come down, I have to jump off.
Dude: Okay…good luck.
Chick: *CRASH!* Uhhhhhh, f***.

This is a video of a Singaporean foursome performing a choreographed indoor skydiving routine at the 2023 World Indoor Skydiving Championships, complete with a bunch of flips and twists and hand-holding and all sorts of other fun stuff. You know, I’ve always considered trying this indoor skydiving thing, but I’m afraid I’ll get addicted and then find myself trying to break into SkyTime at 3AM to get a fix. I’m just being honest. It’s one of my faults. One of too — too many! HIYO, being an idiot is another.

Below is this particular performance, but if you’re into this you can see the entirety of the foursome competition in this playlist.

This is a clip from a 2011 episode of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? in which a contestant (who already used all three lifelines in the firsts four questions) is asked which planet out of four was derived from Greek mythology instead of Roman. While talking out her answer, she states, “I can’t even put a finger on Uranus.” Classic! Then after she unsurprisingly gets the answer wrong, host Meredith Vieira: “It was D, Uranus — Uranus was the answer.” My anus? Never the answer, always the problem.