This is a timelapse video of a tarantula molting that’s at just the right speed for the spider to have that sort of terrifying jerky movement that gives you the heebie-jeebies and wait — is that an erection?! “It’s from earlier!” How much earlier? “When you blew in my ear.” Haha, I picked that little trick up at the strip club. It’s how the dancers would keep me from returning to the free buffet too often.

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