Because under the sea is the place to be if you’re freaky deaky, this is a video of photographer and Andrea Humphreys getting hugged and kissed by a giant Pacific octopus while exploring the Campbell River in Vancouver, British Columbia. In her own words, which yes, do involve suckers on

Because Mother Nature is easily one of the freakiest women you’ll ever have the pleasure of meeting, this is a video of an octopus using its tentacles to run across the ocean floor, presumably to meet up with SpongeBob and Patrick for some deep sea hi-jinks. AND it’s running backwards.

Mother Nature: she’s wild. I could go into detail but she threatened me with murder hornets the last time I told one of her secrets. Enter this absolutely stunning footage of a female blanket octopus. You can tell it’s a female due to the species’ incredible sexual dimorphism, with females

Because Mother Nature dictates there must be a winner and a loser (symbiotic relationships excluded), this is a clip from National Geographic WILD of a California two-spot octopus (aka bimac) who decides mantis shrimp is on the menu tonight, but the would-be catch of the day isn’t having it, repeatedly

This is an example of one of the handblown borosilicate glass octopus wine decanters crafted by Josh DeWall of Chicago-based Ignite Glass Studios. You can get a 500mL version for $600, or a 750mL version (which holds a full bottle of wine) for $950. So, you know, not as cheap

Oh, Japan. This is the ~$36 octopus ‘body warmer’ sold by Japanese novelty retailer Village Vanguard that can be worn around the neck and has snaps along its tentacles so you can secure objects in them for easy access. As you can see in the product photo above, this man

This is a video of a diver playing tug-o-war with an octopus off the coast of Mandelieu-la-Napoule, France over the diver’s GoPro and tripod. Clearly, the octopus tried to invoke the law of finders keepers, but the diver wasn’t having it, and, after a fairly intense battle of tug-o-war, the

These are several satellite images (plus an embedded Google map) “of the northwestern coast of Madagascar where the saline waters of the Mozambique Channel join with the freshwater running through the Betsiboka River to make Bombetoka Bay.”  As you can see, the area looks like a giant octopus.  At least