In why hasn’t somebody added Miley Cyrus’s ‘Wrecking Ball’ to this news, here’s a home video of Michael Chicoine testing a children’s zipline, despite the fact it’s probably made for kids under 120 pounds and not 220-pound adult men capable of generating so much momentum before hitting the spring brake

This is a video of musician Lorenzo Vaccaro playing “the supposedly impossible MIDI track Rush E” at a very respectable 152BPM. For reference, that’s about my heart rate on my walk down the driveway to get the mail. My doctor says I’m going to die. My bookie says the same

This is a video of a garbage truck picking up and accidentally dropping an entire trash can into its compactor, popping the can’s wheels off in the process. How perfectly the wheels fly off — it’s like art. I mean if art wasn’t dead. Well, except for tasteful nudes —

Because the moment some people put on virtual reality goggles all sense of the analog world disappears and they become fully immersed in the Matrix, this is a video of Ashley Cacioppo’s dad diving into his television from a VR balance beam, breaking the screen. Just where the hell did

This is a video of a piece of steel being formed into a giant glowing coil at a steel mill. Obviously, your first reaction was, “My God I want to play with that Slinky.” And you totally should. Go ahead — pick it up. Speaking of picking things up, I

Because even other gigantic assholes doesn’t want more asshole on their hands, this is a compilation video of Vladimir Putin getting snubbed while extending his hand out for handshakes. Can’t say I blame any of them, I wouldn’t shake hands with the turd either. Shoot, I wouldn’t even shake my

This is a timelapse video of Tampa Bay authorities dying the Hillsborough River green to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, a tradition and subsequent celebration that’s been on hiatus the past two years due to COVID restrictions. When interviewed about the event by a local news team, I tore my pants

This is some home security cam footage from Old MacDonald’s place of a goat that knows how to open doors opening the front door so he and his other goat, chicken, and alpaca friends can head inside to break stuff and eat all the houseplants and poop everywhere. My kind