Because this is the internet, here’s a surprisingly worthwhile compilation of dancer and Youtuber Smac McCreanor performing interpretive dances to a variety of different objects getting absolutely crushed by a hydraulic press (courtesy of the Hydraulic Press Channel). I finally managed to get Al Gore on the phone to ask if this video is, in fact, the reason he invented the internet but he just whispered “porn.” Then, in a much more normal tone, “I’m joking, save the polar bears,” and hung up.

Keep going for the video, which is worth a watch, or at least a skip-around at the bare minimum.