This is a visual comparison of increasingly larger fish, from the diminutive 1cm Paedocypris progenetica to the 30m blue whale. The video begins using a grasshopper for scale before moving to a bunny, and finally, humans. There are some big fish out there! Me? I’m neither the smallest nor the the largest fish. When somebody tells a girlfriend after a breakup, “Don’t worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea,” they’re talking about me: dirtbags.

This is a video of a man using a milk crate on a rope in order to climb into his raised truck, towing the crate back into the cab behind him after lifting himself into the cockpit. It’s like a booster seat but for getting into a truck, and is the complete opposite of Truck Nuts. I’m kidding, it’s the exact same. Me? I get into my car the same way I always have: jumping in through the window like a Duke Of Hazzard. I’m not a Duke Of Hazzard though, I’m the Baron of Peril. What the Dukes are to jumping cars, I am to accidentally starting fires.

This is a short video of a kid playing in virtual reality and attempting to cross a balance beam held aloft in the sky when he gets to the end and does what anybody would: spreads his wings and attempts to fly. Props to him for not being afraid, even without a parachute. That said, I would not let him play in the front yard without a fence. This is the exact kid those ‘SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING’ signs warn you about.

Keep going for the video, as well as another of a kid catching a wall shelf with his head doing the exact same thing in case you thought this was an isolated incident.

@ros.scenes

Bro jumped like he was skydiving 🪂

♬ original sound – ROS SCENES

In what’s arguably the best product placement of all time, these are a couple clips from a 2003 television broadcast of the original Star Wars trilogy in Chile by Channel 13, which spliced beer commercials into the actual movie to avoid having to go to commercial breaks. In one of the scenes below, Obi Wan Kenobi tells Luke, “Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough,” and reaches for a beer. Perfect placement! In the other clips, Obi goes for another beer (I think he might have a problem), and even Emperor Palpetine grabs a cold one! Unfortunately, George Lucas felt the edits were in poor taste (well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black!) and “filed a grievance with the Chilean Council for Self-Regulation and Advertising Ethics, leading to a judgment in Lucas Films’ favor. The council decreed that the commercials were not to be aired again.” Dammit, if anybody is going to watch bad edits, they’re going to be MY bad edits, I imagine George thinking to himself while trying to figure out how to fit Jar Jar into the original trilogy.

Around 2003 in Chile, when the original trilogy of Star Wars began airing on television there, they did this funny thing to avoid cutting to commercial breaks. They stitched the commercials into the films themselves. Here is one of them, with the English dub added in. pic.twitter.com/wC7N2vPNvv

— Windy 🛸 (@heyitswindy) March 2, 2024

Combining themes from the two previous posts (world records and food), 70-year old Don Gorske (who looks like a Beatle that wandered into a McDonald’s and never left, eventually becoming manager) has extended his own Most Big Macs Eaten Guinness World Record, stretching the number of burgers he’s consumed to 34,128. Gorske says he eats an average of about two per day. Some words of wisdom from the Burger King himself:

The biggest lesson that Donald has learned throughout his pursuit has been to keep spare Big Macs in the freezer because he can’t depend on McDonalds being open in a blizzard. “The advice I’d give someone who would like to challenge my record title is ‘don’t’. I’ll be dead before you could even challenge it. I’m blessed with a high metabolism and good health which allow me to eat Big Macs without gaining a lot of weight. I might be the only person alive who could eat Big Macs every day without ill effects.” Donald has tried other burgers but in his opinion nothing matches the mighty Big Mac.

Hahahha, “I might be the only person alive who can eat Big Macs every day without ill effects.” Dude thinks he’s some sort of fast food eating superhero. That’s a weird flex. Of course this is a man who’s taken it upon himself to eat the world record number of Big Macs, so it only makes sense his perception of reality is skewed.

Because delicious ideas are all around us (I melted a Snickers bar on toast for breakfast this morning), this is a video of knife sharpener Ryota Togishi creating a grilled cheese sandwich using ultra-thin slices of bread and seven pieces of cheese in a panini press. Togishi previously made what may very well be the world’s thinnest sandwich with tomato, cucumber, and bacon. *shrug* Dude likes his sandwiches thin. Me? I like my sandwiches FAT. Imagine one of those New York style deli sandwiches, then triple it with a 128-ounce side of Coke Zero.