This is a video of an enterprising Yankees fan at a recent game against the Mets coring his hot dog with a straw, then using the hot dog as a straw to drink his beer. How about that! Admittedly, hot dogs and beer are a match made in heaven, and I’m already far from a stranger to sucking the filling out of a cold Oscar Meyer cheese dog straight from the fridge’s crisper drawer.

Life sentence. No parole.

(via NewYorkNico / IG) pic.twitter.com/Y24wnYmdbc

— Jomboy Media (@JomboyMedia) August 23, 2022

Thanks to Ashley, who agrees we’re witnessing the pinnacle of a $28 dining experience right here.

This is a music video for Metallica’s ‘Enter Sandman’ featuring imagery generated by machine-learning AI Midjourney using the lyrics as prompts. The result is almost exactly what I expected. Am I clairvoyant? No, I’ve just had this nightmare before. “Yeah, and it always ends with having to strip the bed and wash the sheets the next morning.” Honey! “What?” One of the dogs must pee the bed whenever I have nightmares.

This is a video of musician Vermilion performing his top 50 favorite Nirvana guitar riffs. He’s pretty good with that guitar, and if I were half as good I probably would have had a lot more luck with the ladies in my college dorm. Oh who am I kidding, there never were any ladies.
Still, his top 50 favorites are definitely different than my top 50, because you can bet all the teen spirit in the world that 1 – 50 on my list are all the opening riff to ‘Come As You Are’.

This is a video of a Tesla in full self-driving mode plowing through a mannequin child (complete with reflective vest) in a crosswalk at 24MPH, the car never identifying the object at all. Apparently Tesla has demanded The Dawn Project (who created the video) cease-and-desist, although I’m not sure on what grounds. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it at least a thousand times (and my girlfriend is tired of hearing it): we’re not ready for self-driving cars. Sure most humans are absolutely terrible drivers, but imagine a terrible driver behind the wheel of a car they think can drive itself. It’s a recipe for my girlfriend’s quiche!

These are several videos from a Chinese pet owner who built some insane accomodations for his animals, including individual air-conditioned rooms, covered bridges for his cats, and an observation deck, complete with a corkscrew slide down to ground level for his dogs. Wow! Whatever you do, don’t go showing this video to my pets, or they might get the wrong idea. The wrong idea being that they deserve even more than they have, even though I already sleep dangling off the side of the bed because they prefer the middle.

This is a short video of Porkchop (sandwiches?!) getting a little help from his owner to retract his extra-long tongue. Some more info while I try to touch my nose with my tongue and my girlfriend wonders if I’m trying to be sexual or just have crumbs in my mustache:

He is 7 years old and I adopted him in October 2021. He has an abnormally long tongue which causes it to hang out of his mouth at all times. …When it’s hanging out a lot, we’ll give it a little tap to ‘reset’ him and he’ll pull it back into his mouth and stick it back out just a little.

Awww, nice going adopting an older cat. That is good stuff. FUN FACT: My dog’s tongue gets stuck hanging out of her mouth from time to time and I try to touch it as much as possible when it does because it doesn’t happen every day, and you’ve gotta strike while the iron is hot.