This is a video of billiard player Shane Van Boening sinking six balls on the break of a game of ten-ball. The commentators speculate he’s going to make three, but no, he doubles that. For reference, the most balls I’ve ever made on a break is probably two. MAYBE three. I’m king of launching balls off the table though, AND scratching the felt.

Keep going for the video, but skip to X:XX if it doesn’t start there automatically.

These are a couple videos of a man mounting a pole using only his legs while competing in Mallakhamba. Mallakhamba is a traditional Indian sport which “involves performing aerial yoga or gymnastic postures and wrestling grips with a vertical stationary or hanging wooden pole, cane, or rope.” That looks insane. I definitely do not have that sort of body strength, upper OR lower. I have almost no body strength at all honestly, just enough to lift a spoon to my mouth eating twelve bowls of cereal a day really.

This is a video of the tiny experimental McMurtry Spéirling electric vehicle setting a new record for the famous hill climb at the Goodwood Festival of Speed in West Sussex, England. The little speed demon managed to finish the 1890m track (1.175-miles, with a total climb of 93.7 vertical meters, average gradient 4.9%) in just 39.081 seconds, setting a new record. At least partially to thank for its success (in addition to the driver not crashing into any walls) is the car’s design, which features powerful fans to create downforce in order to keep its tires glued to the pavement. Of course not literally glued though, that would not set any records.

This is a video of Milwaukee Brewers center fielder Jonathan David making a spectacular diving catch at the outfield wall, going headfirst into the padding and popping his hat off in the process. Nice work! Related: I used to drink a lot of Milwaukee’s Best Ice. Probably too much.

This is a video from a recent women’s soccer match between Chile and Venezuela played at La Granja in Spain of a dog entering the field and rolling over for some belly rubs before doing some zoomies then getting carried off by a player. Awwwwwww. In my mind the dog assumed this was a dog petting competition, and everyone in the stadium was there to watch and judge. My mind is a great place to live.

36' Un invitado muy especial en La Granja 🐶@LaRoja 0 – 0 @FemeninoFVF #LaRojaFEMxTNTSports pic.twitter.com/P7ZHhln6A3

— TNT Sports Chile (@TNTSportsCL) June 25, 2022

These are two videos from Ryan Briggs featuring the last day of school at Glendora High School in California circa 1999 and 2001. God, I remember 1999 — just like it was 23 years ago. Which is to say not very well at best. I guarantee my body didn’t ache every morning when I got out of bed though. *takes handful of joint supplements with prune juice, loses dentures in glass* Just finish me already.