Seen here reminding me of the first time I wore shoes in the pool (I almost drowned), this is a video of artistic swimming world champion Kristina Makushenko casually walking a 360-degree loop underwater like she’s in an invisible hamster wheel and the law of gravity doesn’t apply to her. That’s wild. You know, I’m somewhat of an artistic swimmer myself. I mean, provided there’s a discipline of artistic swimming that involves yelling “CANNONBALL!” and trying to soak your girlfriend who’s on her laptop by the side of the pool, which there should be.

Keep going for this video, as well as Kristina performing an upside-down underwater moonwalk.

@kristimakush95

#####

♬ End of Time 2k15 Super Bowl by Beyoncé – Frankie Silva

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kristina Makushenko (@kristimakusha)

This is a video of two cordless power attached to the same bit with their triggers zip-tied down doing battle on the floor of a construction site. According to the video’s creator: “We were on our 30 min lunch break and Andres started to talk about which drill was toughest so we decided to try our experiment.” And what an experiment it was! Now this is a textbook example of the scientific method at work if I’ve ever seen one. Somebody call the public school system, tell them we have a new mandatory science lesson.

Note: Keep your volume in check.

In how to piss off the Ninja Turtles news, this is a video of an intentional detonation in an underground tunnel that causes a shockwave to travel back and forth along the length of it because it has nowhere else to go. Sounds like me on any given Friday night! I could use a hug. Also, there’s no way to really prove these are actually shockwaves and not the ghosts of farts desperately searching for the tunnel that leads to the afterlife.

Because Mother Nature is easily one of the freakiest women you’ll ever have the pleasure of meeting, this is a video of an octopus using its tentacles to run across the ocean floor, presumably to meet up with SpongeBob and Patrick for some deep sea hi-jinks. AND it’s running backwards. That’s impressive. Also impressive? I’ve never lost a three-legged race in my entire life because *raises eyebrows seductively* I’m always allowed to compete alone.

This is a video of Paul Bunyan’s regular-sized brother Saul cutting down a tree and that tree gushing water from the cut as a result of the tree rotting and collecting water above. That water — it sure looks like Willy Wonka’s chocolate river, doesn’t it? I just wanna taste it! “You should.” I will! “Are you up to date on all your shots?” None besides the cootie shot I circle circle dot dot myself with every night before bed because *lowering voice* I sleep next to a girl. “Smart thinking.” Yeah I’m a bit of a hypochondriac.

This is a vintage video from all the way back in 1991 (30 years ago!) of a couple kids playing a variety of games in an Aladdin’s Castle arcade at the local mall. Growing up in Alabama we didn’t have any Aladdin’s Castles, but we had a Time-Out arcade at the Madison Square Mall. AND IT WAS AWESOME. I remember collecting tickets for YEARS hoping to save up enough to redeem for a Sega Master System. Then, when the day finally came, I was still 22,000 short and had to settle for a Garfield plushie, easily making it the most expensive Garfield plushie ever.