This is a video from Youtuber Backyard Racer featuring a Wheels track built over the course of a month that starts off in a treetop (which the car accesses via motorized gondola), and proceeds through numerous jumps, loops, and speed boosters, and even features a water feature. How about that! The video includes a lot of drone footage, as well as some POV footage from a Hot Wheels car outfitted with a camera. Now I know what you’re thinking, but no, while the nation’s health care system certainly is broken, you should still go see an actual doctor for a colonoscopy.

Ugly Christmas sweaters: they’re not even ugly anymore, they’re beautiful. Case in point, this illuminated ‘Tree-Rex’ sweater manufactured by Joyin and available on Amazon (product link). It features a sexy t-rex struggling with a string of Christmas lights with his little arms, and features seven different light modes. There’s a light mode for almost every occasion! One of those occasions hopefully being making sweet, sweet love to your significant other wearing they’re wearing the sweater. “Not a chance.” Honey! “And return that triceratops mask.” Some fantasy island this turned out to be.

Keep going for a shot of the sweater after dark.

This is a video highlighting beautiful Midas, a cat born in Ankara, Turkey with a recessive gene that causes a quartet of ears. Don’t worry though, the ears don’t affect her in any way besides making her internet famous. Per her caretaker Canis Dosemeci: “Our Midas is very playful cat. She likes to cuddle and sit on my lap and sleep on my lap. She gets along with the dog …Yeah we’re a big family. We have never thought of buying a cat, we just wanted to rescue a cat from the street and we wanted to adopt her.” Awwww. Of course in Greek mythology everything that King Midas touched turned to gold and not ears, but she’s a super cutie so I’ll look past that.

Keep going for a video of Midas, who I imagine on the other end of the line during all those ‘Can you hear me now?” Verizon ads.

This is a short video of a man demonstrating the exact opposite way I get into bed at night, with a front flip that sort of wraps his sheet over him in a way nobody would want, possibly twisting his ankle in the process (it’s the pain that helps you sleep), and definitely getting his mom to yell up the stairs for jumping on the bed. Personally, I usually get into bed the same way I usually leave the restroom at work: completely drained. Unless there was somebody at the urinal next to me, then I’m getting into bed holding it for a few more hours.

This is a video from (I believe) Russia of an elderly man using a homemade motorized pulley system operated with a remote control to access his 3rd floor apartment via the unit’s balcony. That…does not look like it would be up to code around here. But hey, whatever works. Although you know what else would work? Poisoning somebody who lives on the first floor and moving into their apartment.

This is a VICE video highlighting the work of Wales-based paper sculptor Polly Verity, who creases and folds paper with the very best of them. Per Polly: “The actual act of putting a crease into a piece of paper, committing to that crease, and just running along that line — it’s something that I’ll never get bored of.” Could you imagine? You’d never be bored in your life! For reference, I’m bored out of my mind right now and I’m riding an actual roller coaster. Just watch the first twenty seconds of the video to get a taste of both the geometric pattern and organic shape folding Polly is capable of. Most impressive. Personally, I can only make paper footballs and ninja stars, and if I’m being completely honest I’ve forgotten how to make ninja stars.