This is a video of a driver who, almost certainly through some fault of their own (my guess is backed into a light pole making a right turn), dented the shit out of their trunk. So what do they do? Get on the highway and try to get somebody to hit them. And when that doesn’t work? Reverse into that person. Unfortunately for this brainiac, their potential victim had a dashcam and caught the whole thing on video, even running up to tell them they recorded the action, at which point this moron speeds away. God willing, straight off a cliff.

This is a video from the European New Car Assessment Programme (NCAP), highlighting the zero-star crash test rating of the Zoe electric car manufactured by French automaker Renault. Man, those crash test dummies take a licking but do not keep on ticking. So congratulations, if anybody gets you a Zoe with a big red ribbon on it for Christmas, it might as well be a coffin, because they want you dead. Even an ACME rocket would probably be safer, I mean at least Wyle E. Coyote is still alive.

Thanks to my dad, who agrees this is exactly why he drives an F-350 dually.

This is a video of Destin from Youtube channel Smarter Every Day using a supersonic baseball cannon to blast various objects with baseballs at speeds up to 1,189MPH (for reference, the speed of sound is ~767MPH). The baseball just blasts right through the gong, and the mirror shot is particularly neat to watch because it looks like two balls colliding with one another. Man, I wish I had a supersonic baseball cannon. And I’m not just saying that because my neighbor’s Christmas lights are too bright, but hopefully they’re the kind where the whole string goes out if you blast a baseball clean through the house.

These are several videos from video and graphic design artist Michael Edwards reimagining The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Predator, and Robocop as modern movie trailers. He did a fantastic job, and I would totally watch these movies. FUN FACT: I’ve actually only ever seen the first Terminator movie. “He was so scared he barely slept for weeks.” Honey! “What?” Tell them you’re lying. “But I’m not.” But tell them you are, I have a reputation to uphold. “Do you though?” Only in my own mind.

Keep going for the trailers, the Terminator 2: Judgement Day one first since I liked it the best.

Because watching people hurt themselves doing things they shouldn’t be is one of life’s little gifts, this is a short video of a woman attempting to do God-knows-what with a pull-up bar and definitely not doing it, pulling the bar down behind her back and becoming way too familiar with a chair and the floor in the process. PROTIP: you never want to fall with your hands behind you back, that is a terrible way to fall. I just watched the first two seconds of the video on repeat for like five minutes, and was laughing so hard my girlfriend came to see what was so funny, then watched the video once and left without saying a word. Just packed her bags and was gone.

This is a video of a man demonstrating his hidden talent — being able to blow up his tongue into a giant pink mass that looks like a bubble gum bubble. Freaky deaky! My tongue? My tongue is practically useless. I can’t roll it, I can’ blow it up, and its taste buds don’t even work that great because everything I cook tastes like ass. It’s great at getting bitten when I’m trying to eat though. Same goes for my cheeks. Also, after reading the comments on the video, apparently a lot of people can actually do this, so if you wanted to start drafting a comprehensive list of mutants, I suppose these Youtube comments are as good a place to start as anywhere.