WARNING: SPIDERS.

This is a video of Australian woman Claudia welcoming a bunch of baby huntsman spiders into the world with a “they’re so cute!” and not a gas can and lighter like many would be tempted to do. Apparently Claudia discovered the babies upon walking into her daughter’s room one morning. What a pleasant surprise. Me? I’m also a friend of spiders. My girlfriend is forever screaming about them and I’m forever catching them in cups and letting them go outside. Claudia here says she’s just going to open the window and let the spiders venture outside on their own. That’s smart. Or at least it would be if this weren’t Australia and there wasn’t something way worse waiting to come in through that open window.

Thanks to MSA, who agrees sometimes the sign it’s time to move comes to you in an instant.

Artificial intelligence: it will be the end of us all. Or maybe I’ll be spared and choke to death on a hotdog, it’s hard to say. This is a deepfake video of a role-reversal starring Jim Carrey as Wolverine and Hugh Jackman as Ace Ventura. The computers are getting good at this. *produces baseball bat* A little TOO good. I mean what if it’s not Skynet we need to worry about, but Groundnet? Food for thought. “Hopefully a hotdog for you.” I do hate chewing.

This is a video from a trail cam of a bobcat encountering a rattlesnake, and the two battling to the death while a crow cheers them on. Who wins? SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: after several missed strikes by the rattlesnakes (deftly dodged by the bobcat), the bobcat bites it right behind the head and finishes it off, eating the snake before laying down to digest briefly before taking off. WOW. The circle of life, am I right? “What about it?” Maybe it’s really just a coiled up dead snake.

Because apparently it takes a medic to secure an ambulance on the back of a trailer and they’d already hitchhiked back to the hospital, this is a video of an ambulance falling off the back of an auto transport and trying to race the truck down the highway (previously: car breaks free of moving van). According to the person filming, the incident ended when “the ambulance rolled to a stop and the driver pushed it into a ditch.” Funny, my last car ended the same way. I just removed the license plates, scratched out the VIN, and that was that.

In further proof all those Mars photographs allegedly sent back from the planet by rovers were actually just taken in Texas, this is some footage from a January 30th, 2021 dust storm in Lubbock. Now I’m not here to tell anybody how to prevent preventable problems, but you know what prevents dust storms? “Planting crops so there’s less loose soil?” What? No — appeasing the wind gods with a suitable sacrifice. Now, help me trick my roommate into the middle of this salt circle, I have friends in Lubbock.

This is a video of Youtuber Maya interviewing a variety of different animals with a tiny functional microphone. All the animals she interviews live at a rehabilitation center and are unreleasable into the wild as the result of a permanent injury or handicap that would make survival improbably. Thankfully, they’re still interviewable though. And what a bunch of precious angels they are! Who was your favorite? I liked the crows, bluejay, opossums, donkeys, horses, pigs, owl, squirrel, and tortoise. “Was that all of them?” Yes I liked them all.

Keep going for the video, interviews start at 0:45.