This is a video of a skunk performing an undeniably impressive defensive handstand right in front of a trailcam. Presumably because it considered that trailcam a threat and wanted to look as much like a voodoo doll as possible. Mission accomplished! You know, I’ve made voodoo dolls before. Did I actually cause my roommate to slip in the shower that time, or was it just coincidence? I think we all know the answer to that, and the answer is black magic.

First aired 31 years ago when I was still too short to reach the cookies on top of the refrigerator without using a stool and risking it all, this is a Pepsi commercial featuring a xenomorph alien to ride the hype of the release of Alien 3. In the ad, the alien is chasing the two boys through alleyways, who end up getting cornered by a Pepsi machine, which is tail-whipped by the alien, releasing a complimentary Pepsi (the only kind I’ll drink, and even then reluctantly). The boys throw the drink to the alien, who catches it in one hand, slams it down, extends its inner mouth to burp in one of the boy’s faces, then leaves, presumably having learned that all drinks on earth taste like ass. Obviously, nothing about this is cannon except that it should have been shot out of a cannon and never aired. Did Pepsi even watch Alien 3 before making the commercial?

Because wasps are the absolute worst, this is a video of one playing ding dong ditch with a video doorbell, ringing the bell then immediately flying away. What a jerk! Knowing wasps, it probably toilet papered their house that very same night. Still, of all the things in the world I don’t want ringing my doorbell, wasps are actually pretty low on the list. I owe a lot of bad people a lot of money.

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Thanks to JustA, who agrees doorbell cams should come with a flamethrower option.

Note: Volume on or you are MISSING OUT.

In problems I wish I had, this is a video of a pet otter stealing its owner’s breakfast. In this case, some sort of cheesy omelet. I like how vocal the otter is about its thievery. It’s all, “I’M GOING TO STEAL AND EAT THIS WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, SO CHILL WITH THE POKEY FINGERS.” A ninja otter it is not. Always play to your strengths — that’s the message here.

@mycuteotters

♬ suono originale – Nicco 🪐

Did you know there’s a viral cheese-pulling trend on TikTok? I did not, that was news to me. Not good news, mind you, but not the worst either. Anyways, Doritos decided they’d jump on the Gen Z bandwagon by setting a world record for world’s longest cheese-pull, with an admittedly respectable 49-feet. Although from what I could gather watching the video, it looks like the 265-pounds of melted cheddar and mozzarella was actually INSIDE the chip, and so it was pulled DOWN from the helicopter, which allowed the cheese to continue oozing to thicken its string without breaking and should nullify this record. Just for reference, I don’t film myself pulling cheese. I just do it with my teeth right after yanking the pizza out of the oven and burn the everliving sh!t out of my lips and mouth. I constantly look like I’ve been trying to eat acid. Also, more than once I’ve swallowed a molten Totino’s Pizza Roll right out of the oven and had to go to the hospital.

This is video of Red Bull athlete Kade Edwards blasting down one of the world’s most difficult mountain bike trails in the Dyfi Valley of Wales, all being captured by a drone tailing him piloted by the Dutch Drone Gods. I have questions. 1) Why the mountain bike if Red Bull really gives you wings? You could have just glided all the way down the valley above all those murder trees. 2) Just how many Red Bulls does it take to jump off my parents’ garage without a garbage bag parachute? Because one AND a parachute didn’t cut it. Draw a penis on my cast?