This is a video of World Beatbox Champion SO-SO performing a medley of Super Mario song remixes entirely with beatboxing and vocal performance. There is no additional instrumentation or sound effects, it’s all SO-SO. It’s actually way better than so-so though, it’s amazing.

The songs he covered were Super Mario Bros (UK Garage Remix), Underground (HIPHOP Remix), Mario Circuit (Trance Remix), Luigi’s Mansion (Midtempo Bass Remix), Jungle Level (Reggaeton Remix), Water Land (Future Bass Remix), and Super Star (Drum’n’bass Remix).

I wish I was better at beatboxing. I can’t even produce a convincing fart to embarrass people at parties. And if I can’t do that, can I even call myself a good host? And the answer, of course, is yes, I can call myself anything. It’s getting everyone else to call me DragonLord that’s tricky.

World records: there’s one for everything. Even the number of empty cans stuck to your face with suction. How do I know those cans are regulation?! The newest record of 9 cans was set by 31-year old Shunichi Kanno, who beat Jamie “Canhead” Keeton’s previous record of 8. Wow, only 31 years young and already he’s accomplished so much more than I have. I’m a failure! “Don’t say that.” But it’s true. “It is true, but you still shouldn’t say it.” Is it also true you are what you eat? “You’re cardboard, aren’t you?” Not anymore!

In other wiener related news (is it going to be one of those days?! Only time will tell. We can all hope though), this is a video of a phallic cloud spotted while driving. There’s no doubt about it, that’s a cumulus wiener. I included screencaps with both the Steak & Shake and Best Western billboards, because I felt they were appropriate. Of course with a giant sky wiener floating above, almost any billboard can seem related. “GOD LOVES YOU.” That’s it, I’m closing the comments.

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Thanks again to JustA, whose agrees nature is wonderful.

This is a video of a man fulfilling one of my lifelong dreams and swallowing all 27-feet of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. It’s absolutely perfect — a real cinematic masterpiece. Which brings me to my next point: Oscar Mayer should become the official sponsor of the Academy Awards. I mean they’re already called the Oscars. It’s a no-brainer. But with tons of wiener. Like me!

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Thanks to JustA, who promised to help me find and eat the Wienermobile myself.

This is a video of Japanese man Toco wearing the $14,000 Border Collie costume he had commissioned out in public to gauge the reactions of fellow canines and humans. Toco had the costume made to fulfill his childhood dream of becoming an animal. My childhood dream? A Ferrari. “To own one?” No, to BE one like Toco here. He gets it.

This is a video of Heath Ledger’s Joker performance in The Dark Knight deepfaked by Youtuber GdaTyler VFX to be a makeup-free Heath Ledger. It’s kind of like a reverse deepfake. A FAKEDEEP. Did I just come up with something?! “No.” I didn’t think so, but I can never tell. Except when I invented the CornDogIt. It can turn any food into a corndog, and it’s the future of eating.