New Zealander Geoff Upson, a self proclaimed Road Safety Manager, has taken it upon himself to spray paint neon green penises over dangerous potholes to get them filled by the transport authority faster. Geoff estimates he’s painted at least 100 potholes since 2018, and spent around $300 on spray paint. And apparently it’s been working, which is why I’m taking a trip to Home Depot as soon as I publish this. The roads around here are just awful, and I’ve lost two tires to potholes already this year, and it’s only May. Now *extending nautical spyglass* it’s just going to be penises as far as the eye can see.