This is a video of engineer Allen Pan of Youtube Channel Sufficiently Advanced (God, I’ll never be) constructing a ridiculous robotic social distancing arm out of a 10-foot military RolaTube (think of a ten foot slap bracelet, designed for creating an instantly rigid antennae mast in the field, but is still easy to transport in its rolled-up form). While Allen’s engineering is certainly impressive, the final result is incredibly slow and loud. “Like you.” Like me, or a tortoise with a bullhorn. WE’RE COMING FOR YOU, HARE.

Thanks to Alex S, who agrees if you can’t reach it with one of those plastic shark or t-rex jaws grabbers, it isn’t worth it.