Designed and crafted by Youtuber B.B.Korry, this hourglass (actually only a 30-second timer) reimagines the classic analog design with a digital upgrade, using magnetic iron filings to count down the seconds as they’re ever so briefly attracted to a digital display before dropping. That’s cool, now make one with enough iron filings to actually count down a full hour. I mean what can a person even do in 30 seconds? “Well–” Don’t you dare, honey!

Thanks again to my dad, who’s on vacation in the Mediterranean right now and still manages to send tips, which is a lot more than I can say for you.

This is a short clip from The Pirate, released in 1948, of a man kissing a woman after flipping the cigarette he’s smoking back into his mouth, then flipping it back out after the kiss to cover her face in a cloud of smoke. Or maybe he’s just blowing her a shotgun. And they say chivalry is dead!

Thanks to my dad, who agrees they sure don’t make ’em like they used to. You know, because they make them better now, just to be clear.

This is a video of NBC10 Philadelphia’s Emmy award-winning reporter Sheila Watko providing a traffic report while packing in 23 out of 26 of the new track titles from Taylor Swift’s ‘Midnights’ and Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘The Loneliest Time’ into the segment. That’s fun. Way more fun than a regular traffic report, which is about as much fun as sitting in traffic because they’re too boring to watch.

Note: Just watch the video, you’ll be amazed or I’ll go back in time and give you your 54 seconds back.

This is a video of musician Timothy Fletcher (Instagram, TikTok) performing to Juvenile’s 1998 banger ‘Back That Azz Up’ on a snare drum with about as much extra flair as superhumanly possible, dancing and performing stick tricks the entire time. Now those are some skills. Me? I’m still trying to find something I’m good at, but so far all I’ve got is ‘making a list of things I’m terrible at even longer’.

@timothyfletcher_ “Aye Girl can you…….😏” I SNAPPED ON THIS!!! #juvinile #timothyfletcher #beats #litty #backthatazzup #trums #drums ♬ original sound – Timothy Fletcher

Presumably pleased with the Youtube success of his previous two iterations of squirrel mazes (version 2.0 here), this is a video of ex-NASA engineer turned Youtuber Mark Rober holding the Backyard Squirrelympics 3.0, an Olympic style competition in which squirrels compete in seven different events to see which is the best at navigating their way to nutty rewards. Fun was had by all. Especially me, who watched the whole video eating pistachios out of a bowl by my computer and yelling at the screen. “I just buy them from the grocery store!” I taunted the squirrels while dropping shells into my keyboard, never to be retrieved, “I can have as many as I want!”

This is some dashcam footage of a teen driver out practicing with his dad when he almost runs into the back of a police SUV. As far as things you don’t want to do while driving, that’s certainly one of them. Per his dad: “Slow down. Brake! BRAAAAAAAKE! *heavy breathing* What were you doing? Trying to hit the cop?!” I remember one time when I was practicing driving with my dad I ran up on a curb and scraped the shit out of the rims on the passenger side. It took me four tries to get my license. But look at me now! “Still driving on the sidewalk.” It’s like my own little lane.

Keep going for a super-short version, as well as a longer 3-minute version in case you need more.

Thanks to JustA, who actually acts as my personal chauffeur because I hate driving.