This is a video of Youtuber and waster of perfectly good cheeseburgers MrGear letting an aquarium full of maggots eat a burger, as well as some some fruits and veggies. The burger action begins at 2:10, including some close-up and timelapse footage. But what about the maggots at the bottom — do they get any fresh burger or do they only get to eat what the the maggots above them have already digested? Whatever the case, this was the perfect video to watch right before lunch to help with my diet.

This is a commercial for the Yomega Brain yo-yo (Amazon ad link) aired during Saturday morning cartoons in the 90’s. It perfectly encapsulates the nineties in a now painful to watch 30-second ad. God, I was one of those kids. Toss in a kid with terrible hand-foot coordination playing hacky sack by himself against a bank of lockers and you have all four years of my high school lunch periods in a nutshell. You know, I can actually remember this ad playing on television in the mid 90’s. They said it was the first yo-yo with a brain, and I tried suing Yomega for false advertising because that yo-yo failed every single Algebra test I used it to cheat on. Some brain — it just told me to doodles penises all over the scantron!

This is a video of CNN reporter Michael Ballaban taking a Tesla Model 3 with the company’s “full self-driving” beta software installed out for a spin on one of the busiest streets in Brooklyn, New York. How does it fare? Not that great. Granted, driving in Brooklyn is absolute pandemonium and an extreme (albeit entirely necessary) test of a vehicle’s self-driving capabilities, but still. Let’s just say I wouldn’t be trusting my life to a self-driving car in the foreseeable future anywhere I couldn’t already close my eyes and drive for at least thirty seconds without hitting anything.

This is a video of Youtuber Handy Geng building and demonstrating his ingenious ‘BBQ Car’, a motorized piano that can be driven around WHILE PLAYING MUSIC AND BARBECUING. When you press a key the piano both plays a note AND spins the corresponding rotisserie skewer above. My God, such genius! Could you imagine if Handy Geng had lived during the Renaissance? We wouldn’t even know Leonardo da Vinci’s name!

Step right up, folks, and for only a quarter you can watch this circus performer’s impressive umbrella juggling routine! I’m joking, it’s a free Youtube video. Would I pay to watch this at a circus in real life? Only if I’m allowed to throw my peanut shells on the ground, because I am not putting them in my pockets to get stuck to all the unwrapped candy I keep in there. I have principles.

This is a video of a couple enjoying the great outdoors in the snow and doing a little sledding in less than optimal conditions when they run through some mud and wind up looking like they just plowed through a turd. Reminds me of the time the Kool-Aid Man picked the wrong wall and crashed into a public restroom. Good times. Did I watch the video repeatedly in slow motion looking at all the crazy one-eyed faces the lady was making? She makes it look so effortless.