I'm not leaving until my legs are numb!
The Toilet Timer, A Five Minute Hourglass Style Timer To Remind You To Get Off The Pot

this is the Toilet Timer ($15 on Amazon), a five-minute sand hourglass style timer to remind you that you’ve already done enough scrolling on Instagram, it’s time to wipe and get off the pot. Me? I don’t get up until both my legs are painfully numb and I have to crawl out of the bathroom on all fives. “Your penis is not an extra leg.” It’s big enough to be!