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real products that exist
The Panwaffle Iron, For Making A Waffle In The Middle Of A Pancake
The Panwaffle Iron, For Making A Waffle In The Middle Of A Pancake
Can you never decide what to eat? You sound like my girlfriend. Enter the dishwasher safe Panwaffle ($20 on Amazon), a waffle/pancake iron that makes a waffle in the center of a pancake, for the best of both worlds. Of course as soon as I’ve got the batter mixed and
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The FartVac, A Pump Vacuum w/ Activated Carbon For Filtering  Flatulence
The FartVac, A Pump Vacuum w/ Activated Carbon For Filtering Flatulence
This is the very real and very available on Amazon FartVac, a $12 hose and bulb vacuum with an activated carbon filter at the end designed to suck up farts from your pants before filtering the smell out of them and releasing them back into the wild. Now I know
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Pokemon Gengar Sleeping Mat Lets You Sleep On Its Tongue With Your Head In Its Mouth
Pokemon Gengar Sleeping Mat Lets You Sleep On Its Tongue With Your Head In Its Mouth
In other freaky deaky Pokemon bedding news, this is the Gengar sleeping mat available for pre-order from Bandai in Japan. Unlike those Pikachu centipedes, I’m pretty sure this is an officially licensed product, and its price reflects that at $250. *spit-takes Count Chocula* No wonder bootlegging is so popular. Speaking
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Real Products That Exist: Pokemon Centipede Body Pillows
Real Products That Exist: Pokemon Centipede Body Pillows
These are the almost certainly unlicensed ‘Very Long Pikachu Insect Plushes’ available from Chinese online retailer AliExpress. They cost between $21 and $90 depending on length (available in 80cm, 1.1m, 1.4m and 1.7m varieties), and seeing one (or, even worse, one of every length) on a potential lover’s bed, is
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Women’s Gold Glitter Taco Sneakers: For Taco Tuesday, Everyday
Women’s Gold Glitter Taco Sneakers: For Taco Tuesday, Everyday
You know what the world has been missing? “Gold glitter taco sneakers.” Exaaactly. And now Dolls Kill has filled that folded tortilla shaped void with these Current Mood Salsa Time Taco Sneakers. The shoes cost $88 and ‘have a gold glitter construction, adjustable lace-up closures, and platform soles.’ Those are
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Fire In The Hole!: A Plush Mario Bob-omb Toilet Paper Holder
Fire In The Hole!: A Plush Mario Bob-omb Toilet Paper Holder
You know what your bathroom needs? A plush Bob-omb toilet paper holder! “I don’t know about that.” I WILL RIP DOWN YOUR SHOWER CURTAIN ROD AND BREAK YOUR TOILET TANK WITH IT. Lol, two pots of coffee already. This is the ~$27 Bob-omb Toilet Paper Holder. The end of the
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A Baby Teething Ring That Looks Like They’re Taking Out Their Dentures
A Baby Teething Ring That Looks Like They’re Taking Out Their Dentures
Children: it’s fun to pretend they’re just tiny old people which is really what they are so it isn’t even that hard to pretend. You could have the worst imagination and it would still be easy. Enter the False Teether from Fred and available from Firebox. It’s a teething ring
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Finally, Some Decent 12-Foot Great White Shark Models
Finally, Some Decent 12-Foot Great White Shark Models
Sharks: everyone is afraid of them, and people who aren’t are liars. Enter these 12-foot great white shark models created and sold by Etsy shop Cakeboard Designs. Made from fiberglass and resin, they’re available in both hanging ($1,400) and standing ($1,600) models, and will make the perfect addition to your
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I wrote Geekologie for 13 years.  Now I'm writing this.  I was born in space.  It was dark there and it still is.

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