This is the ~$13 ‘Running Behind’ condiment bottle topper created by Sir Perky. It screws on to a variety of standard threaded bottle tops and makes it look like a little person is pooping out whatever is in the bottle. REAL MATURE. It also comes with a tiny butt plug

Move over sandcastles, because with Toysmith’s Bag O’ Beach Bones Playset (~$26 on Amazon) now you’ll be able to mold FULL-SIZE SKELETAL REMAINS on the beach with its 14 individual bone-shaped pieces. Honestly, I was a little skeptical about the product’s quality at first, but after I saw the 5-star

This is the Etsy listing for the Adult Size Armored Bionic Skin T-Rex Costume available from animatronic and costume creature makers MCSDINO out of China. The costume measures approximately 20-feet long and 7.5-feet tall, and requires 1-2 foot tall stilts to walk in. It features a clownfish inspired paint job,

Because dreams really do come true occasionally, these are the Cute Poop Emoji Plush Slippers manufactured by YINGGG and available on Amazon for $20. Perhaps most shockingly, the US size 5 – 8 slippers have 4.5/5 stars with 272 reviews. Obviously, these are not the shitty slippers I was expecting.

this is the Toilet Timer ($15 on Amazon), a five-minute sand hourglass style timer to remind you that you’ve already done enough scrolling on Instagram, it’s time to wipe and get off the pot. Me? I don’t get up until both my legs are painfully numb and I have to

This is the Trompe l’oeil (Optical illusion) neoprene wetsuit from American Designer Thom Browne. It costs $3,900 and looks like a business suit, so when you’re out there catching waves you can pretend it’s just another day at the office. And maybe King Triton will finally take a business meeting

This is the already funded Indiegogo campaign for the WindshieldWOW! windshield cleaning device, which surprisingly wasn’t invented by the Slap Chopper/ShamWow Guy. The flexible WindsheildWOW holds a microcloth fiber cleaning pad to each side of a windshield with magnets so when you wipe the outside windshield you’re also cleaning the

This is the Sony Reon Pocket, a ~$170 smartphone operated personal air conditioner worn in a pocket in the back of a special $20 undershirt so it can make contact with your skin and cool your surrounding body up to 23-degrees Fahrenheit in the summer, and warm it up to