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novelty products
Finally, A Velociraptor Toilet Paper Holder
Finally, A Velociraptor Toilet Paper Holder
Ready to keep you company whenever you JurASSic Park yourself on the toilet (I’m an idiot and fully aware) to take care of business and do some light Instagram scrolling comes this molded resin velociraptor toilet paper holder. Available on Amazon (affiliate link, also available in t-rex, pic below), this
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Finally, The Waving Forrest Gump Rear Windshield Wiper We’ve All Been Waiting For
Finally, The Waving Forrest Gump Rear Windshield Wiper We’ve All Been Waiting For
Because very occasionally wishes really do come true, the WiperTags store on Amazon is selling this Forrest Gump waving decal for rear wipers (affiliate link). It looks like Forrest waving to Lieutenant Dan from his boat, right before jumping overboard out of excitement. Classic Gump! I included the gif from
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‘The Office’ Inspired Stapler In Jello Soap
‘The Office’ Inspired Stapler In Jello Soap
This is a real stapler in soap created by Etsy seller PalmStoneCreations to look like Dwight’s stapler in Jello from The Office. The soap costs $22, measures approximately 5-inches round 3-inches tall, weighs 1 pound 9-ounces and does not include the plate. Per one very satisfied customer: This. Was. PERFECT!!
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The Bah Humbug Colorless, Flavorless Candy Cane
The Bah Humbug Colorless, Flavorless Candy Cane
Because nothing goes better with coal than a colorless, flavorless candy cane, this is the Bah, Humbug Candy Cane available from Archie McPhee. The 10.25-inch cane weighs 3.1-ounces and is void of “flavor, stripes, and Christmas Spirit.” They cost $4.50 apiece, which is a little bit more than I was
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Finally, A Godzilla Bust Tissue Dispenser
Finally, A Godzilla Bust Tissue Dispenser
This is the officially licensed Godzilla bust tissue dispenser made by Japanese company Rotary Hero. The box is designed to be displayed vertically, and the tissue next in line for use appears almost as if it’s smoke billowing from Godzilla’s mouth. I like how they spelled out GODZILLA on the
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Real Products That Exist: Mushroom Flavored Candy Canes
Real Products That Exist: Mushroom Flavored Candy Canes
Because what good is Halloween if you can’t trick some treaters, these are the shitake mushroom flavored candy canes made and sold by Archie McPhee ($5.50 for a six-pack, regularly $6.50). Honestly, I’m not sure if I could even identify what shitake tastes like. “What about just shit?” Oh easy,
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Real Products That Exist: The ‘Running Behind’ Condiment Bottle Topper
Real Products That Exist: The ‘Running Behind’ Condiment Bottle Topper
This is the ~$13 ‘Running Behind’ condiment bottle topper created by Sir Perky. It screws on to a variety of standard threaded bottle tops and makes it look like a little person is pooping out whatever is in the bottle. REAL MATURE. It also comes with a tiny butt plug
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The Toilet Timer, A Five Minute Hourglass Style Timer To Remind You To Get Off The Pot
The Toilet Timer, A Five Minute Hourglass Style Timer To Remind You To Get Off The Pot
this is the Toilet Timer ($15 on Amazon), a five-minute sand hourglass style timer to remind you that you’ve already done enough scrolling on Instagram, it’s time to wipe and get off the pot. Me? I don’t get up until both my legs are painfully numb and I have to
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