Because humanity is rapidly approaching its expiration date (use by, not best by), these are Wet Pants Denim, real jeans you can buy that make it look like you pissed yourself, but are actually dry to the touch (the illusion is created via dyeing, not to be confused with dying

Because nothing quite says prom like a greasy cheese biscuit strapped to your wrist, Red Lobster posted a video tutorial to Twitter detailing how to turn their Cheddar Bay Biscuits into prom corsages and boutonnieres. Basically you hot glue a Cheddar Bay Biscuit onto some fake greenery and an elastic

This is a very unusual sketch of comedian Eric Feurer performing as two trench coats inside a kid trying to get into the theater to watch a children’s movie. You know, instead of two kids stacked inside a trench coat trying to get into a rated R movie. It’s, uh,

Because great ideas come in all shapes and sizes, including the size and shape of a phone with a tongue sticking out of it where you put your ear, the ‘Feel The Conversation’ phone created by designer Xianzhi Zhang translates speech into haptic feedback based on a caller’s intonation and

This is the very real and very available on Amazon FartVac, a $12 hose and bulb vacuum with an activated carbon filter at the end designed to suck up farts from your pants before filtering the smell out of them and releasing them back into the wild. Now I know

Captured in the Ecuadorian rain forest by wildlife photographer and videographer David Weiller, this is a video of a monkey slug caterpillar (the larval stage of a hag moth), which is neither monkey nor slug but is a caterpillar, and mimics a tarantula so things don’t try to eat it.

Butt masks are a real product that exists. Bawdy Butt Masks, made by DOPE Naturally (WTF is going on here?), the masks come in four varieties: BITE IT (plant based collagen, hydrating + toning), SLAP IT (caffeine infused, retexturing + detoxifying), SHAKE IT (marine algae, firming + illuminating), and SQUEEZE

To promote it’s deep fried turkey sandwiches, Arby has released this limited edition Deep Fried Turkey Pillow, a $60 helmet pillow in the shape of a turkey that you can stick your head up the rear of to nap. Me? I don’t need a pillow to nap, I can fall