With every letter in ‘FRESH TROPICAL FRUIT’ solved except for the S, Wheel of Fortune contestant Khushi decided to spin and guess a G. Hey, it happens. There’s nobody more familiar with their brain sh!tting the bed than I am, so I get it. As a matter of fact, if I had a nickel for every time my brain pooped the bed then peed all the way to the bathroom crying, I’d definitely be able to afford to rent a steam cleaner.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a single audience member audibly have such a violent reaction on Wheel of Fortune, as this lady did when a poor contestant called a G in “Fresh”. pic.twitter.com/FiFWTNlphM

— Chad Mosher (@ChadMosher) February 21, 2023

Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from pet ownership, it’s how much my hellcats love being carried around in bags, pet fashion designer MiMi Custom Clothing has created this tote that turns your cat into a lion. You just put your cat inside, attach the safety hook to its collar or harness, poke its head out the hole, and cinch the lion collar. TA-DA, pet lion! Or, in my case, bloody arms and a cat who doesn’t trust me. Honestly, Noah is lucky it wasn’t my cats he tried getting on his ark, or we probably wouldn’t have any today.

To provide a calm respite from this chaotic world, here’s is a video of a sloth living the dream and lounging in a woven hanging chair at the Chase Wildlife Conservancy (previously: their anteater’s tongue) in Webster, Florida. I needed that. I was pretty anxious before, but now I’m as cool as a kid hiding under his bed from the monster in his closet. Admittedly, not much of an improvement, but an improvement nonetheless. Also, I don’t like to think of sloths as slow, but as very deliberate in their movement. They really are just slow though, just to be clear.

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Because some people don’t actually like pumping gas (what’s wrong with them? The smell alone is worth it, not to mention the extra half gallon I can squeeze in the tank by pulling the nozzle almost all the way out), there’s an Autofuel robotic gas pump in operation at a service station in Vantaa, Finland. The system requires users to register their vehicle’s details like model, fuel type, payment method, and license plate, as well as install a special gas tank cap that the robot can remove. The future! Sure we were supposed to have flying cars by now, but hey, robotic gas pumps — that’s something. Something depressing, WHERE THE HELL IS MY JETPACK?

Thanks to my dad, who agrees Back to the Future II was the biggest lie ever told.

Because some people like to brag about how they have infinitely more balance than I do, this is a video of freestyle cyclist Fabio Wibmer riding down two sets of stairs backwards, balancing only on the front wheel. That’s impressive. Entirely impractical, but impressive. Still, if Fabio was your weed delivery guy this would be pretty cool to watch out the window as he leaves.

Keep going for the video, as well as one of Fabio backflipping down 20 stairs because somebody clearly paid extra for express delivery of their Sour Diesel.

This is a video of realtor Sam Cooper (who’s allegedly “sold thousands of homes” in his lifetime, presumably in 50 and 100 packs) giving a brief tour of a home’s entryway and the grand handpainted mural present there, informing the viewer he’s hired a contractor to paint over the whole thing to make the home more marketable. This sent both TikTok and Twitter users into a fit. But, thankfully for those who appreciate fine art, after enough cajoling (or harassment) Sam decided to leave the mural, and let the new homeowner decide what to do with it. I mean, if the house sells. Which it just did — to me! Now grab your paint set and come over, we have a lot of b00bs to add.

@samcooperrealtor #verycreative #painting #house #artistry #home #impressive #canyoubelieveit #foyer #repainted #painted #different #realtor #housesoftiktok #creative ♬ original sound – Sam Cooper Realtor