This is a first person POV video of someone riding a glass-bottom water slide attraction in Tianjin, China. The glass walls I understand, but I feel like the glass bottom was probably necessary. It’s kind of hard to see through the water AND glass below you. Cool CONCEPT though, like the glass-bottom car I invented when I was a kid. *shrug* Who knew blurry pavement would be so boring.

Keep going for this video (which unfortunately does not end with a log flume drop), as well as a scarier one of a glass-bottom slide that hugs the side of a cliff.

This is a video of an extreme health and fitness enthusiast demonstrating his hardcore push-up routine, one that appears to incorporate all the physical energy I’d typically exert over the course of two to three weeks. Wow, I’m out of breath just watching. AND my wrists and ankles hurt. Not sure what’s up with the boner, but I assume all this imaginary working out really got my blood flowing.

This is a US map highlighting the alleged most popular grocery store chain in each state according to a questionably conducted survey by ‘information insights platform Wise Voter‘. That’s cool, but what about the states without a grocery store listed — what about them? Do people in Vermont and Alaska live entirely off maple syrup and salmon alone? And even if they do, is it any unhealthier than the six years of college I lived off of King Size Snickers bars and Nesquik?

Presumably as part of its tryouts for the Ninja Turtles, this is a video of Tommy the tortoise inspecting a line of shoes (including a black shoe with white tape on one side) before making his way around to the other side of the line and specifically headbutting the black shoe. Why does it only attack the black shoe? Your guess is as good as mine, but I suspect it involves the Foot Clan. Or maybe — MAYBE — the hare was wearing a similar model during their infamous race. “Haha, I wore Keds and still won!” I imagine Tommy taunting the shoe before slowly losing interest and looking for some lettuce to snack on.

This is some cool footage of a wingsuiter soaring through the ‘Sputnik Crack’ located in the Appenzell Alps near Walenstadt, Switzerland. The crack is a canyon that formed over the side of a cliff that a wingsuiter can drop into and fly through provided they don’t smack a wall and die like I would have. “Best hug ever,” I imagine the canyon wall thinking to itself while vultures feast on my penis below for weeks afterward.

Presumably rehearsing for their gig at the next Illuminati gala, this is a video of a robbed figure wearing a mask demonstrating their very impressive object manipulation skills with two enormous nipple piercings. Just imagine the size of the boobs on the giant those must have come from! “I don’t know, they look more like penis piercings to me.” Zoinks!